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One Year of Self-Improvement. A summary of what happened

2020.10.29 09:07 ChrownZDoom One Year of Self-Improvement. A summary of what happened

Hey Guys, I think it's worth celebrating that I've been on here and improving steadily for one year now!

The Story so far

I'm a 22 Year old German dude (Sorry for grammar mistakes). PMO was a frequent activity, since my early teens. Didn't really thought about it at first, but I found NoFap around 2016 . I tried it for a few weeks, but then dropped it, since I didn't have the mental capacity to withstand my addiction after multiple relapses.
I used to masturbate multiple times a day usually, mostly out of boredom. Even when accompanied by someone or at my internships, I would usually go to the toilet and masturbate. Ain't proud of that.
Early October 2019: I broke up with my then-girlfriend, I was unhappy with the relationship, as we had different approaches towards life. (One major point was that I am an atheist and she was a devout Christian. Which meant no sex in 3.5 Years too). After that, I fell into a hole of self-pity for about three weeks, where I would masturbate a lot.
But on the 29th of October in 2019 was when I decided, that it's not worth it to pity myself anymore. That's when I rediscovered NoFap and Self-Improvement overall.

Habits that I picked up

What habits did I try to pick up and how well did they stick?
  1. 12 Rules of Life by Jordan Peterson (Audible Audio book)
  2. The power of now by Eckhart Tolle
  3. How to win friends and influence people by Dale Carnegie

How well did I do?

In 366 Days, I relapsed 115 Times, with my longest streak being 62 Days right at the start. I noted every relapse and wrote some notes on each one. Here are the results on most of my relapses:

What about the superpowers?

I feel more confident in myself. I'm wittier, healthier, happier, stronger.
I've been having moderate success with the girls, don't have a girlfriend yet, but went on a few dates at least, which resulted in nothing though. Having better pictures of myself for dating apps would help probably too, since going out with Covid is a bit harder. But didn't get to do it yet. So as of yet, I'm still a 22 Year old virgin, but that doesn't really bother me anymore. It happens when the time and the woman is right.
Don't forget: A relapse doesn't erase all of your progress, it's a journey with no definite goal. You can always keep on fighting!
Was it worth it? Absolutely Am I enjoying my life more? Hell yes Will I continue to fight? Absolutely
Thank you for reading so far and keep on fighting!
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2020.10.28 20:54 Helen5808 Another one b/ the last one was a fail

AFRICA TIIROUGII THE EYES OF A EUROPEAN MERCHANT
ANTONIUS MALFANTE
Antonius Malfante wrote from Tuat (Tawat) in the central Sahara in 1447, to a colleague in Genoa. His travels suggest growing European outreach, for contact with Africa below the Sahara had been limited since the fall of the Roman Empire. Genoa was increasingly active in Mediterranean trade and presumably Malfante's venture was part of this activity, as his account Itself implies, He seems to have traveled fairly widely in the region and was also eager to report what he thought he learned about places he did not visit directly.
From The Voyages e Condomiosto and Other Documents et Western Africa in the Second Half of the fifteenth Century, truns. and edited by G R Crone, Hakluyt Society Works Ser II: Vol 80, 1937, 85-90. The Hakluyt Society was established in I846 for the purpose of printing rare or unpublished Voyages and Travels. For further information pleuse see their website at www.hakluyt.com. Reprinted by perminion of the publisher.
After we had come from the sea, we journeyed on horseback, always southwards, for about twelve days. For seven days we encountered no dwelling - nothing but sandy plains, we proceeded as though at sea, guided by the sun during the day, at night by the stars. At the end of the seventh day, we arrived at an oasis, where dwelt very poor people who supported themselves on water und a little sandy ground. They sow little, living upon the numerous date palms. At this [wasia] we had come into Tucto [Tawat, a group of oases). In this place there are eighteen
quarters, enclosed within one wall, and ruled by an oligarchy. Each ruler of a quarter protects his followers, whether they be in the right or no. The quarters closely adjoin each other and are jealous of their privileges. Everyone arriving here places himself under the protection of one of these rulers, who will protect him to the death; thus merchants enjoy very great security, much greater, in my opinion, than in other North African kingdoms such as Tunis.
Though I am a Christian, no one ever addressed un insulting word to me. They said they had never seen a Christian before. It is true that on my first arrival they were scornful of me, because they all wished to see me, saying with wonder "This Christian has a countenance [ appearance] like ours" -- for they believed that Christians had disguised faces. Their curiosity was soon satisfied, and now I can go alone anywhere, with no one to say an evil word to me.
There are many Jews, who lead a good life here, for they are under the protection of the severalrulers, each of whom defends his own clients Thus they enjoy very secure social standing. Trade is in their hands, and many of them are to be trusted with the greatest confidence
This locality is a mart [market] of the country of the African Muslims, to which merchants come to sell their goods: gold is carried hither [to or toward this place), and bought by those who come up from the coast. There are many rich men here. The generality, however, are very poor, for they do not sow, nor do they harvest anything, save the dates upon which they subsist. They eat no meat but that of castrated camels, which are scarce and very dear.
It is true that the Arabs with whom I came from the coast brought with them com and barley which they sell throughout the year. It never rains here if it did, the houses, being built of salt in the place of reeds, would be destroyed. It is scarcely ever cold here: in summer the heat is extreme, wherefore they are almost all blacks. The children of both sexes go naked up to the age of fifteen. These people observe the religion and law of Muhammad. In the vicinity there are 150 to 200 oases.
In the lands of the Blacks, as well as here, dwell the Tuareg, who live, like the Arabs, in tents. They are without number, and hold sway over the land from the borders of Egypt to the shores of the Ocean [present-day Liberia, and over all the neighboring towns of the blacks. They are fair, strong in body and very handsome in appearance. They ride without stirrups, with simple spurs They are governed by kings, whose heirs are the sons of their sisters - for such is their law. They keep their mouths and noses covered. I have seen many of them here, and have asked them through an interpreter why they cover their mouths and noses thus. They replied:
"We have inherited this custom from our ancestors." Their faith is that of the Blacks. Their sustenance [food for survival] is milk and flesh, no com or barley, but much rice. Their sheep, cattle, and camels are without number. One breed of camel, white as snow, can cover in one day a distance which would take a horseman four days to travel. Great warriors, these people are continually at war amongst themselves,
The states which are under their rule border upon the land of the Blacks. I shall speak of those known to men here, and which have inhabitants of the faith of Muhammad. In all, the great majority are Blacks, but there are a small number of white [i.e, tawny (brownish bronze colored) Moors (Arabs))...
These adhere to the law of Muhammad.
To the south of these are innumerable great cities and territories, the inhabitants of which are all blacks and idolaters (idol worshippers), continually at war with each other in defense of their law and faith of their idols. Some worship the sun, others the moon, the seven planets, fire, or water, others a mirror which reflects their faces, which they take to be the images of gods, others groves of trees, the seats of a spirit to whom they make sacrifice; others again, statues of wood and stone, with which they say, they commune by incantations (magic spells or charms). They relate here extraordinary things of this people.
The lord in whose protection I am, here, who is the greatest in this land, having a fortune of more than 100.000 doubles (a coin), a man worthy of credence [belief in or acceptance of something as true] relates that he lived for thirty years in that town, and, as he says, for fourteen years in the land of the Blacks. Every day he tells me wonderful things of these peoples. He says that these lands and peoples extend endlessly to the south they all go naked, save for a small loincloth to cover their privates, They have an abundance of fish, milk, and rice, but no corn or burley.
The slaves which the blacks take in their internecine [destructive to both sides in a conflict] are sold a d at a very low price. These peoples, who cover the land in multitudes, are in carnal (relating to physical, especially sexual, needs and activities] acts like the beasts. They breed greatly, for a woman bears up to five at a birth. Nor can it be doubted that they are eaters of human flesh, for many people have gone hence into their country. Neither are there ever epidemics
When the blacks catch sight of a white man from a distance, they take to flight as though from a monster, believing him to be a phantom. They are unlettered, and without books. They are great magicians, evoking by incense diabolical devilish: sinister) spirits, with whom they say, they perform marvels.
The wares for which there is demand here are many: but the principal articles are copper, and salt in slabs, bars and cakes. The copper of Romania [the Byzantine Empire, which is obtained through Alexandria, is always in great demand throughout the land of the Blacks. I frequently enquired what they did with it, but no one could give me a definite answer. I believe it is that there are so many peoples that there is almost nothing but is of use to them.
The Egyptian merchants come to trade in the land of the Black with half a million head of cattle and camels-a figure which is not fantastic (unbelievable] in this region.
The place where I am is good for trade, as the Egyptians and other merchants come hither form the land of the Blacks bringing gold, which they exchange for copper and other goods. Thus everything sells well; until there is nothing left for sale. The people here will neither sell nor buy unless at a profit of one hundred per cent. For this reason, I have lost on the goods I brought here, two thousand doubles [coins]-
From what I can understand, these people neighbor on India. Indian merchants come hither, and converse through interpreters. These Indians are Christians, adorers of the cross. It is said that in the land of the Blacks there are forty dialects [local languages), so that they are unable to understand each other.
I often enquired where the gold was found und collected, my patron always replied "I was fourteen years in the land of the Blacks, and I have never heard nor seen anyone who could reply from definite knowledge. That is my experience, as to how it is found and collected. What appears plain is that it comes from a distant land, and, as I believe, from a definite zone." He also said that he had been in places where silver was as valuable as gold.
John Barbot, an agent for the French Royal African Company, made at least two voyages to the West Coast of Africa, in 1678 and 1682.
Those sold by the Blacks are for the most part prisoners of war, taken either in fight, or pursuit, or in the incursions (invasions] they make into their enemies territories; others stolen away by their own countrymen: and some there are, who will sell their own children, kindred [family), or neighbours. This has been often seen, and to compass [to contrive; to plot] it, they desire the person they intend to sell, to help them in carrying something to the factory by way of trade, and when there, the person so deluded fooled). not understanding the language, is old and deliver'd up as a slave, notwithstanding all his resistance, and exclaiming against the treachery.
The kings are so absolute, that upon any slight pretense [a claim, especially a false or ambitious One of offences committed by their subjects, they order them to be sold for slaves, without regard to rank, or possession.
Abundance of little Blacks of both sexes are also stolen away by their neighbours, when found ubroad on the roads, or in the woods or else in the Cougans, or com- fields, at the time of the year, when their parents keep them there all day, to scare away the devouring small birds that come to feed on the millet (a type of grain), in swarms, as has been said above.
In times of dearth scarcity and famine, abundance of those people will sell themselves, for a maintenance, and to prevent starving. When I first arrived at Goerree, [Gorée is a small island off the coast of Dakar, in Senegal known for its role in the 15th to 19th-century Atlantic slave trade] in December, 1681. I could have bought a great number, at very easy rates, if I could have found provisions to subsist [feed them; so great was the dearth then, in that part of Nigritia (a term used to describe the interior of Africa)
To conclude, some slaves are also brought to these Blacks, from very remote inland countries, by way of trade, and sold for thing of very inconsiderable value, but these slaves are generally poor und weak, by reason of the barburous usage they have had in traveling so fur, being continually beaten, and almost famish'd; so inhuman are the Blacks to one another.
The trade of slaves is in a more peculiar manner the business of kings, rich men, and prime merchants, exclusive of the inferior sort of Blacks
These slaves are severely and barbarously treated by their masters, who subsist them poorly, and beat them inhumanly as may be seen by the scars and wounds on the bodies of many of them when sold to us. They scarce allow them the least rag to cover their nakedness, which they also take off from them when sold to Europeans; and they always go bare- headed. The wives and children of slaves, are also slaves to the master under whom they are married; and when dead, they never bury them, but cast out the bodies into some place, to be devoured by birds, or beasts of prey.
This barbarous usage of those unfortunate wretches, makes it appear, that the fate of such as are bought and transported from the coast to America, or other parts of the world, by Europeans, is less deplorable shameful than that of those who end their days in their native country, for aboard ships all possible care is taken to preserve and subsist them for the interest of the owners und when sold in America, the same motive ought to prevail with their masters to use them well that they may live the longer, and do them more service. Not to mention the inestimable [untold) advantage they may reap, of becoming Christians, and saving their souls, if they make a true use of their condition....
Many of those slaves we transport from Guinea on the west coast of Africa) to America are prepossessed [preoccupied] with the opinion, that they are carried like sheep to the slaughter, and that the Europeans are fond of their flesh, which notion so far prevails with some, as to make them fall into a deep melancholy [sadness] and despair, and to refuse all sustenance [food]. tho" never so much compelled and even beaten to oblige them to take some nourishment notwithstanding all which they will starve to death whereof I have had several instances in my own slaves both aboard and at Guadalupe [un island in the Caribbean colonized by France. And tho' I must say I am naturally compassionate, yet have I been necessitated sometimes to cause the teeth of those wretches to be broken, because they would not open their mouths, or be prevailed upon by any entreaties [pleadings] to feed themselves, and thus have forced some sustenance into their throats...
As the slaves come down to Fida (the port of Ouidah on the western coast of Africa in modern day Benin from the inland country, they are put into a booth, or prison, built for that purpose, near the beach, all of them together and when the Europeans are to receive them, every part of every one of them, to the smallest member, men and women being all stark naked. Such as are allowed good and sound, are set on one side, and the others by themselves, which slaves so rejected are there culled Mackrona, being above thirty five yeats of nge, or defective in their limbs, cyes or teeth, or town grey, or that have the venereal disease, or any other imperfection. These being set aside, each of the others, which have passed as good, is marked on the breast, with a red- hot iron, imprinting the mark of the French, English, or Dutch companies, that so each nation may distinguish their own, and to prevent their being chang'd by the natives for worse, as they are apt enough to do. In this particular, care is taken that the women, as tenderest, be not burnt too hard.
The branded slaves, after this, are returned to their former booth, where the factor fa slave broker, a middleman is to subsist them at his own charge, which amounts to about two- pence a day for each of them, with bread und water, which is all their allowance. There they continue sometimes ten or fifteen days, till the sea is still enough to send them aboard, for very ollen it continues too boisterous energetic for so long a time, unless in January, February and March, which is commonly the calmest season and when it is so, the slaves are carried off by parcels [rope wrapped with tar), in har-canoes (e small cared boat and put aboard the ships in the road [a hay or harbor where ships are anchored]. Before they enter the cannes, or come out of the booth, their former Black masters strip them of every rag they have, without distinction of men or women: supply which, in orderly ships, each of them as they come aboard is allowed a piece of canvas, to wrap around their waist, which is very acceptable to those poor wretches.
If there happens to be no stock of slaves at Fida, the factor must trust the Blacks with his goods, to the value of a hundred and fifty, or two hundred slaves, which goods they carry up into the inland, to buy slaves, at all the markets, for above two hundred leagues [a nautical unit of measurement equal to 3.4 miles) up the country, where they are kept like cattle in Europe, the slaves sold there being generally prisoners of war, taken from their enemies, like other booty, perhaps some few sold their own countrymen, in extreme want poverty, desperation), or upon a famine as also some as a punishment of heinous [wicked] crimes: the' muny Europeans believe that parents sell their own children, men their wives and relations, which, if it ever happens, isso seldom, that it cannot justly be charged upon a whole nation, as a custom and common practice
One thing is to be taken notice of by sen-faring men, that this Fida and Ardra another slave port in modern-day Benin) slaves are of all the others, the most apt to revolt aboard ships, by a conspiracy carried on amongst themselves, especially such as are brought down to Fida, from very remote inland countries, who easily draw others into their plot for being used to see mens flesh eaten in their own country, and publick markets held for the purpose, they are very full of the notion, that we buy and transport them to the same purpose, and will therefore watch all opportunities to deliver themselves, by assaulting a ship's crew, and murdering them all, if possible.
Source John Rabot. Som Memolts of the Life of Jolt, the Son of Salomon," in Thomas Astley and John Churchill, ects Collection of Voyages and Travel London, 1732)
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2020.10.28 20:42 Krapiva333 I'm(24 F) not happy with my life and I think I want a divorce and start over

Hi im 24 F and I got married to my husband(24 M) a little over a year ago. We didn't have a wedding or anything. Let me backtrack a little bit so you get the whole picture.
I'm an immigrant and came to this country at 13 with my whole family. My mom got very religious over the time we lived here because of all the hardships I assume. My dad, under the influence of my mom eventually became religious too. I used to be religious as well. After HS I wanted to attend Bible school but wasn't allowed to go because it was an hour and a half away and I would have to live on campus🙃( In my culture girls usually never get to be independent and don't leave the house until they are married or in their late 30ies, even then probably not..) I was very heartbroken when I wasnt allowed to do one thing I truly felt I wanted. After that, I got a lot less religious all I wanted was to leave the house. If you are wondering why, my relationship with my mom was very bad all throughout the years, every since I was 3 basically. It was pretty much abusive. I was looking forward to leaving very much. I, however wasnt allowed to move out on several occasions after i turned 18 even when I was able to.
Long story short, I'm 22 and I get a job where I meet my now husband. We date and eventually my parents start to not like the fact that I spend so much time with him. They don't like that im living this American life and dating basically, he aslo wasnt a Christian. So they want me to break up with him. At first I do but then we secretly get back together. At that point yes I wanted to be with him very much, he was my support system. I was definitely not ready to break up with him, I loved him, but I also wasn't ready to marry him and wasnt really planning on it.
I eventually make a tough choice of pretty much running away with him and get married. We got married pretty much because I didn't want to "completely" bring my family to shame by living with a man unmarried and he wanted to marry me anyway. So we did that. After we got married i got relieved of my fears that I'd be forced to go back home. I now "belonged" to another man and was his responsibility in their eyes.
At first my parents said they would never speak to us again but now a year later we are all best friends and they love him very much....lol I know.
I should be happy but im not...As messed up as it sounds I didn't really get married out of love unfortunately and it wasn't the best day of my life.
Don't get me wrong my husband is a wonderful man and treats me very well. But I wasnt ready to be a wife and am not. I made a commitment out of fear and now I feel terrible.
I think so much of how I want to be independent and live on my own and date around and not marry until I am sure I'm crazy about that person and vise versa.
But things just started to be good for me. My husband is even a Christian now...more than me even lol. I feel so terrible towards him and my family if I bring up divorce. I know people will say do what makes you happy but if you are familiar with the culture I'm from its not that easy. Me running away was the hardest decision I made and those news were dragged all the way back to my country and It was shameful to my family. Now if I divorce it will be so complicated. For one I dont want to break my husbands heart. Two I dont even know how to tell my family and I'm not ready to go through that kind of stress again. I also fear they d persuade me to move back in. Im thinking if I do it I should probably move away. What do you all think? Please be kind, and thank you for reading all of it.
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2020.10.28 15:29 cincbus Introducing: The Royal Family of Monaco

Prince Rainier III (1923-2005)
Rainier’s mother, Princess Charlotte, was actually illegitimate. Her father Louis II, getting older and with no legitimate children, legitimized her and made her his heir. She never took the throne, and in fact renounced her rights to her son, Rainier, the day before his 21st birthday.
Rainier became the Sovereign Prince of Monaco upon the death of his grandfather in 1949.
During WW2, Rainier served in the Free French Army. During the 40s and 50s he was in a long term relationship with the French film actress Gisele Pascal. Rainier’s sister, Princess Antoinette, wanted her own son to ascend to the throne, and spread rumors that Pascal was infertile. The rumors along with her treatment by the press and public ended their relationship.
After the war Monaco, a country who made its money primarily as a gambling origin, was in crisis as wealthy Europeans found their funds diminished after the war. To restore Monaco’s treasury Rainier decided to promote Monaco as a tax haven, and he personally took control of SBM (the company who owns the Monte Carlo Casino, Opera, and Hostel de Paris) in 1964. Prince Albert still retains a large share of the company and profits from it today.
Marriage:
Everyone knows this one. Rainier married American film star Grace Kelly in 1956.
Their marriage is rumored to have been turbulent. It is said that Grace struggled with adjusting to royal life, regretted ending her film career, and that Rainier had extramarital affairs. Her children have stated that though she was a loving mother, they spent more time with nannies than with their parents.
Grace's dress is iconic, but here you go if you want to revisit some photos from that day.
Rainier smoked up to 60 cigarettes per day, and in the last years of his life his health steadily declined. On March 8th, 2005 he entered the hospital for a lung infection and by the end of the month he was on a ventilator suffering from renal and heart failure. On March 31st he officially announced his son Albert, as regent, and on April 6th he died.
The Constitution
Monaco’s constitution stated that Monaco is a constitutional monarchy ruled by the hereditary princes of the Grimaldi. If the reigning prince were to die without leaving a male heir, Monaco, according to the treaty, would be incorporated into France. In 2002, realizing he had a 43 year old bachelor son, Rainier amended the constitution to allow the crown to pass to his daughters should Albert not marry.
Grace, Princess of Monaco (1929-1982)
Grace was born in Philadelphia to an affluent and influential family. Her father was an Olympian and a Democratic nominee for Mayor of Philadelphia and was appointed by President Roosevelt as National Director of Physical Fitness. Her mother taught physical education at the University of Pennsylvania and coached women’s athletics at Penn.
Her Uncle, George Kelly, was a Pulitzer prize winning dramatist, screenwriter, and director and used his influence to gain Grace admission to the American Academy of Dramatic Arts in New York. Grace became one of the biggest movie stars of her generation.
In 1955 she was sent to the Cannes Film Festival and invited to appear in photos with Prince Rainier. After a year-long courtship, they were married in 1956.
Grace was not allowed to continue her acting career after her marriage. She instead devoted herself to her role as Princess, become heavily involved with the Red Cross of Monaco and the Rainbow Children Coalition.
On September 13, 1982, Kelly was driving back to Monaco after spending time at her country home. During the drive she had a stroke, lost control of her vehicle, and drove off the mountainside. She died a day later.
An article on their relationship
Prince Albert II (b. 1958)
Prince Albert is one of the wealthiest royals in the world with a net worth at more than $1B. He attended Amherst College in Massachusetts, studying political science, economics, music, and English literature, and completed his education with a Bachelor of Arts degree in Political Science. He toured Europe in 1979 as part of the Amherst College Glee Club.
Albert competed in the bobsleigh for five consecutive Winter Olympics on behalf of Monaco, and was their flag bearer at the 1988, 1994, and 1998 Olympics. He is also a judo black belt.
He became Prince of Monaco when his father died in 2005.
Marriage:
Prior to his marriage his status as a bachelor was a hot topic of discussion. He was known to date well-known fashion models and actresses, however at age 53 had never married. It was rumored that Albert was gay, something he expressed great frustration with in the press. In 2006 he attended the opening ceremony of the Torino Olympics with South African swimmer Charlene Wittstock. They were engaged in 2010, and married in 2011.
There are rumors that Charlene tried to flee the country the day before their wedding. It is reported that the future bride, after discovering Albert may have fathered yet another child during their relationship, attempted to flee as many as three times before their wedding, however was always intercepted at the airport. It is also said she attempted to seek refuge at the South African embassy, and that officials in Monaco ended up hiding her passport so she could not leave the country.
Moreover, during their wedding, Charlene openly cried at parts, and Prince Albert was caught on camera begging her to kiss him. Honestly, she looked pretty miserable the whole time. The palace has denied all of these claims.
During their honeymoon, they stayed in separate hotels
Here's everything you ever needed to know about their wedding
Watch it
Prince Albert is passionate about the environment and an avid sportsman. Prince Albert speaks French, English, German, and Italian. He speaks English with basically no accent thanks to his American mother.
Illegitimate Children
In 2005, the day before Prince Rainier died, Albert publicly acknowledged he had fathered a son out of wedlock. In 2006, he confirmed he had also fathered a daughter. These children were barred from the line of inheritance because of a 2002 constitutional amendment requiring an heir’s parents to be married.
Alexandre (b. 2003)
Alexandre’s mother (Nicole Coste) was a flight attendant for Air France and met Prince Albert when he was a passenger on a flight. He asked for her number, the beginning of a years-long affair. The relationship ended at the insistence of Prince Rainier. Albert visited Alexandre and Nicole often, however when he refused to acknowledge Alexandre publicly, Nicole sold an interview and pictures to the media. Albert was in mourning for his father and made no public comment, but later did acknowledge paternity. Alexandre and Nicole live in France at an estate given to them by Albert.
Jazmin (b. 1992)
Jazmin’s mother, Tamara, met Albert while working as a waitress. Albert knew of Jazmin and visited her, however did not acknowledge her publicly until she was in high school to protect her identity. In 2006 the French magazine Voici published photographs of Jazmin and her mother on a visit to Monaco, outing her as Albert’s daughter. She has attended events with Albert and Charlene, and is listed as a sponsor for her father’s royal foundation.
An interview with Jazmin
Princess Charlene (b. 1978)
Born in Zimbabwe, Charlene’s family relocated to South Africa in 1989. She represented South Africa at the 2000 Sydney Olympics, finished fifth in the 4x100 meter relay.
Albert and Charlene met at the Mare Nostrum swimming competition in Monaco in 2000, however were not seen together until 2006.
Charlene converted to Roman Catholicism for her wedding, and has learned French and Monegasque after her move to Monaco. She is an ambassador for the Special Olympics, patron of the South African Red Cross, and is passionate about sport.
In recent news, she completed “the crossing” water bike challenge, a 180 kilometer water bike race for charity.
An interview with Charlene and Albert on the 1st birthday of their twins
Albert and Charlene have 2 children:
Hereditary Prince Jacques *twin* (b. 2014)
Princess Gabriella *twin* (b. 2014)
Gabriella was born 2 minutes before her brother, however because of the constitution her brother will inherit the throne. They are super sweet together and you see them at events often.
Princess Caroline of Hanover (b. 1957)
Caroline is the eldest child of Rainier and Grace Kelly, however because of the constitution her brother, Albert, sits on the throne of Monaco. She served as de facto first lady of Monaco until the marriage of Albert and Charlene.
Until the birth of her niece and nephew she was heir presumptive to the throne, although she had only held that title since 2005 after the change of the constitution to include female heirs.
Caroline received her French baccalaureat in 1974, and received a degree in Philosophy from Sorbonne University. She is fluent in French, English, Spanish, German, and Italian. Her hobbies include horseback riding, swimming, and skiing.
Marriages:
Married Phillippe, a Parisian banker, in 1978. The couple divorced in 1980 with no children.
Married Stefano in 1983, the sportsman heir to an Italian industrial fortune. The two had to marry in a civil ceremony rather than a religious ceremony because Caroline, a Catholic, was divorced. Caroline was 3 months pregnant at the time of their wedding.
They have three children:
  1. Andrea Casiraghi (1984)
  1. Charlotte Casiraghi (1986)
  1. Pierre Casiraghi (b. 1987)
Note: The Casiraghi’s are all very beautiful and very fashionable but I don’t want to go much into them here because they are so far down the line of succession. They’re fun to follow for their fashion if you have the time to check them out.
Married Ernst August, a Prince, in 1999. They have one daughter, Princess Alexandra.
Caroline is thus a Princess twice-over, through her family and through her husband. She and Ernst August have been separated since 2009 however are still legally married, thus she retains the title of Princess Caroline of Hanover.
Read about all of her weddings here
See her speaking in English around 12:00 here
Princess Stephanie (b. 1965)
Stephanie was in the vehicle with her mother when Grace died. She suffered a fracture of the neck.
She has studied classical dance and piano, and competed in gymnastics and horse riding. She interned at Christian Dior and debuted as a model in 1984. She has a swimwear and perfume line, and owns cafes and stores in both Monaco and Barcelona. She also has sold more than 2 million copies of her song, Ouragan, and sold 1.5M copies of her album Besoin. She recorded “In the Closet” with Michael Jackson, however is listed as “mystery girl” in the credits.
Marriages/Relationships:
Stephanie married her former body guard, Daniel Ducruet, in 1995. When Rainier learned of their relationship Daniel was not only still his employee, but had a pregnant girlfriend too. Stephanie gave birth to their two children “out of wedlock” because Rainier refused to grant permission for them to marry, however eventually relented. The two divorced a year later after Ducruet was photographed naked with a stripper.
Read more
They have two children:
  1. Louis (b. 1992)
  1. Pauline (b. 1994)

Stephanie and Jean never married, however have a child together. He was Rainier’s Head of Security. She did not identify him on the birth certificate and it was not confirmed that he was Camille’s father until she confirmed it herself on her Instagram.
More about Jean

Stephanie met elephant trainer (yeah, you read that right) when she presented him with the award for “best animal tamer” at the Monaco Circus Festival in 1997. Franco, a decade older than Stephanie, was married with two children at the time. Franco left his family for Stephanie, moving her and her three children into his circus caravan in Zurich. Marrying in 2001, their relationship lasted 18 months until their divorce.
An interview with Stephanie in English in 1990
Why is he a Prince and not a King?
From vogue:
It goes back deep into the history of Monaco. Monaco has always been a tiny nation, and, for protection, allied itself with (or, at some points, was flat-out annexed by) big powerful countries, with big powerful rulers—aka kingdoms, or, a nation ruled by a king or queen. So Monaco’s rulers styled themselves as prince and princess. That, by definition, made the nation a principality, or one ruled by prince or princess.
Regardless, Albert actually plays a bigger role in the day to day operations of the country than most of his European peers. Legislative power is divided between the Prince who initiates the laws, and the National Council who votes on them. Executive power is retained by the Prince, and he has full judiciary powers.
Jewels
See their tiara collection
I think the Ocean Tiara, gifted to Charlene for her wedding, is particularly interesting. You either love it or you hate it.
The Grimaldi Curse
What do you think?
submitted by cincbus to RoyalsGossip [link] [comments]


2020.10.28 14:34 mapbeastR I'm getting tired of innocent civilians getting killed...

Why don't they fight our army? Seriously, how much of a subhuman piece of shit do you have to be to kill tens of innocent people in their sleep and injure dozens. It just seems to me these people have no honor, never did never have. And of course the world is blind to this terrorism. Because how could a majority Christian state commit war crimes? Terrorism is endemic to Islam and Turks therefore innocent children and even babies deserve to die in their sleeps.
As stuff like this keeps happening, you definitely see the west's true face when it comes to Turks & Muslims. They're regarded as subhuman, as barbarians. But Armenians? No, they are Christian angels who are protecting their ancient Christian lands. See, my brothers. Do not seek for those Westerners feel pity for us. They wont, they never did and never will. We are inferior in their eyes because we aren't white nor Christian. So they keep their racism up to date.
So, my brothers. We are the only ones who care about ourselves. And it has always been like this. We are the ones who should take care of this, it's clear that the west has no sympathy for us, not even a gram. We are alone in our battle against terrorists. But don't forget that we have our brothers too. Countries like Pakistan, Turkey & Israel have always shown their support for us. They showed us that the "brotherhood" wasn't just on paper but also on act. We all know we are disliked by the west. So fuck the west I say, let's focus on our selves. We're winning the war, those terrorists are doing everything to stop us, and even kill innocent people too for it. But this will not stop us from liberating what belongs to us! Rise high Azerbaijani flag, the blood of our people won't be left on the ground. We will avenge you all, you are being avenged, Rest Easy. ❤ 🇦🇿
submitted by mapbeastR to azerbaijan [link] [comments]


2020.10.28 11:45 thirdgenapathy Violate my HIPAA privacy in class? Hope you didn't think your relationship was private.

do not share on any media in any way, including youtube. This is an experience I only shared here and do not want to have it shared in other places
When I was 16 I went to a special behavior class due to temperament issues and PTS problems. This was very private to me and a result of ongoing home abuse as well as past abuse from other family, so not exactly public information I advertized. I had a teacher at the time who I will refer to as Ms.S. Ms.S had a huge ego trip and was very two faced. She would scream at anyone who disagreed with her and isolated students she didn't like having them sit alone or in a closet space with a desk. By disagree I mean anyone who didn't do the work perfectly the way she demanded (she taught math and sciences. If Ms.S couldn't follow your work or it wasn't the way the text book did it, even if it was correct or just a different method she tried to fail you or give 0's.)
You could tell when she got the SBH job she assumed she would only be working with disabled kids, but found out later her job was also to manage kids with emotional issues. See, Mrs.S could not for the life of her handle any children in her class who were independent and didn't attribute their success to her in addition to worshipping the ground she walked on. She was also very religious. My private issues set aside I had perfect grades and was friends with most people in my class. I rarely argued with anyone and kept to myself.
I'm naturally able to absorb massive amounts of information at a glance and remember it for long periods of time, so I blew through most of my work easily enough. Ms.S could not stand that I completed my work immediately and usually read for the remainder of her class, she was the "hand out work after a short lesson" type of teacher, so your work only lasted through the homework and classwork she gave you after her lesson. She had some issue with me reading when I was done. Her excuse was that other kids would read during class if I did, which was BS because she let everyone but me read when they were done. I was only allowed to read when everyone else was done, sometimes not even then. Other kids were allowed to read even if others were done, I was singled out. Some days she just kept my book even after class ended. So I started refusing to give her my book.
It started started an all out war. She on several occasions ripped my book right out my hand as I walked into the class or took it off my desk even when I wasn't reading. Literally snatched it out of my text book stack as I was walking even if I was using it to brace my grip, causing me to drop my books a few times.
In addition to this she would regularly shame me in class even though I was the highest scoring student there, always for simply disagreeing with her on how I did my math work (I always got the correct answer, she just didn't like my method.). Instead of attacking my academics she attacked me personally (mind you this was always in front of other students in my class in an attempt to humiliate me). This included comments about my relationships with others or my family.
She also did everything in her power to sabotage my transition back into mainstream classes. Needless to say I ended up bringing decoy books, backup books, leaving something gross in her desk once (I left a square of soft cheese in her desk before easter break that evolved into it's own ecosystem by the time we returned).
I decided that even if I get kicked from that school or class, she has to come to work to afford to live. Not only that, but I had filed complaints against her with the school board, so we kept having reps sit in on our classes to monitor her (naturally she started hiding her behavior and only acting horrible when they weren't there). So in my mind, she was not only at a disadvantage, she couldn't get away from me without showing weakness and turning the whole class against her (a lot of emotional issue kids with issues with authority). I also wasn't the only student she picked on, she was only ever nice to the developmentally disabled kids. I had seen her reduce classmates to sobbing or egged them on until they physically left the school so she could call the truancy officer. But she always made sure to tout her "I'm a GOOD christian" persona when her bosses or parents came to speak with her.
So I went on the attack. Around this time I was re-entering another group home so I decided I would simply openly defy her on anything I considered unreasonable because there was a camera present and she would have to provide proof and anything on her part that was not on the straight and narrow would definitely become an issue for my group home caseworker and the houseparents who handled my schooling (they were good people and changed my life a lot, including confronting her a few times before events came to a head).
About two months into my second year with her all hell broke loose and she lost. her. mind...literally. I came into class with my books as typical and she removed one from me as I came in. Now this was a day with no work because it was the end of a large assignment, at this point she was being a bitch for the sake of it since there was no real work to be done, just grading and presentation. The presentations were divided because my class of twelve was separated into learning levels. Since my group was last and none of the groups really interacted academically I decided to read while my friends spoke and the other learning level groups did their presentations.
So I sat down and started reading.. my backup book. She asked me to put it down and I said I would if she said anything worth listening to (this was after a year and a half of her humiliating and screaming at me, so I had lost all respect for her). Naturally she took my second book so out came my ACTUAL book. She fing lost it. She stared at me for maybe 5 minutes before she came for it. Only I was always much stronger than her and this book was hardcover, so I held on. She started dragging me and my desk around the room (wont lie, yelled yeehaw once to egg her on).
Eventually when she threw her entire weight into the pull & I let go and watched her fly away. Anyway when she stood up she started screaming about how my mother and grandmother hated me and this was why I was given up for adoption, abandoned in hospitals and group homes, because I was broken and nobody liked me (the end part was an indirect anti-gay comment).
Edit: since people don't seem to absorb this, the abuse that created a rift between my grandmother and I was enmeshed sex abuse that was hidden by her. My mother suffered the same thing and became a full blown drug addict who robbed my sister at gunpoint for crack money.
Now, this was too far for me and I knew entirely illegal. But I decided I didnt want her fired, I wanted to humiliate her the way she had done me for the last year and a half. What she didn't know was that I had a laptop and had snooped on her after reaching my wits end with the constant harassment, I was suicidal at the time and had finally just decided to fight back because the other option was death (this was in the days where teachers had myspace and didnt realize students could access it). She had no idea I could come back at her because this whole time even though I was fighting back, I wanted to not be my absolute worst self and avoided verbal confrontation where I could because I knew I would say awful things.
The whole class was watching and most were just shocked. So I hit her back with "so how does a racist, frankenstein looking b**ch like you date a hot black dude? Oh, you don't, that probably why he's fing your sister now. Understandable, probably hard for him to date someone he's too scared to ride in a car with. Maybe you could win him back with a banjo solo using your mouth bands". Offensive and over the top? Absolutely. But so is a 40 year old woman weaponizing things a suicidal 16-17 yo divulged in therapy in front of a class with emotional issues who will definitely try to bully him. That tidbit of her private life wasn't all. I gave everyone in all her classes her internet information and contact info. (remember I wasn't her only victim)
For the next two days we had a sub while Ms.S hid in the main office (it was attached to our classroom with a window) and setup a lesson plan for the rest of the year and then took a medical leave for mental health, admitting herself for the next 3 months. I found out the medical stuff from snooping her sister's myspace account. She deleted her own. The rest of that year was great. We got a substitute who was nicer than ms.S, didn't harass us and I started mainsteaming and moved into a better teachers class the following year. She came back for the last month of school and entirely avoided the class, leaving everything to the aide.
Edit: since some of the audience couldn't infer from my implied statements I clarified a lot in the post, reformatted it and further explained the situation.
submitted by thirdgenapathy to ProRevenge [link] [comments]


2020.10.28 09:13 gkellyyy My [21f] boyfriend [22m] is having trouble setting boundaries with his Christian parents and it’s affecting our relationship.

My boyfriend and I have been together for about 10 months. In general, we make each other the happiest we’ve ever been. We have very few problems and are excited about the potential of a future together. We always talk lightheartedly about our plans to travel to other cities or to someday move in together. But as soon as our plans get too “real,” (such as me suggesting we finally reserve that AirBnB that’s been on our wishlist for ages) he shuts down the conversation because there would be no way his super religious parents would ever approve.
The issue is that until we get married—which both of us feel is a conversation we don’t need to be having yet—, his parents wouldn’t approve of us sleeping in the same bed (something we do most nights much to their unawareness), not to mention going on a weekend trip alone.
Their approval is extremely important to him, because he’s never experienced life without it. I am his first serious girlfriend, so he’s never had to stand up for his decisions in this way before. He’s gotten this far by keeping the peace because there hasn’t really been any negative personal consequences to doing so, or any reason not to. But now that he and I are dating, there is a constant anxiety looming over our decisions that his need to please his parents has created. And the amount of effort it would take to either lie to them or have a conversation about his adult boundaries is too much for him to handle.
His parents are very nice people and they definitely love him. I like them and they really like me too. They’re just traditional — they want what they think is best for him, and that happens to be different from what would actually make him happy. But in his mind, having that conversation with them is a giant, daunting, complex thing that he just can’t handle, because he’s never had to try before. To add to things, he’s recently confessed to me that he’s afraid of admitting to his parents that he’s not the perfect Christian boy they’ve always seen him as, and I’m sure this is holding him back from being honest with them about how he’s feeling. He just doesn’t want to disappoint the people he loves.
I’m worried because even though this situation is not creating huge problems right now (especially since COVID has seriously shot down any plans for a trip), his parent’s controlling behavior and his tendency to go along with it has the potential to harm us later down the road when we get more serious. We shouldn’t have to wait around until we get married before living our lives unapologetically!
How can I find the balance between giving him the space he needs to take steps in the right direction while also communicating my needs as his partner, my fears for his well-being, and my concerns about our future?
TL;DR My boyfriend’s parents are super religious and it’s holding us back from doing the things we want to do together — such as go on a weekend trip or eventually move in together — and he’s too afraid of disappointing them to stand up for himself. How should I navigate this without pushing him too much?
submitted by gkellyyy to relationships [link] [comments]


2020.10.28 02:45 jw_mentions /r/FundieSnark - "No birthdays or Christmas for the Collins kids 😪"

I am a bot! Please send NotListeningItsABook a private message with any comments or feedback on how I work.
EDIT: As of Thu Oct 29 19:59:56 UTC 2020, the post is at [167pts14c]

About Post:

--- --- Notes
Submission No birthdays or Christmas for the Collins kids 😪
Comments No birthdays or Christmas for the Collins kids 😪
Author Ariz0na1ceT
Subreddit /FundieSnark
Posted On Tue Oct 27 20:22:56 UTC 2020
Score 167 as of Thu Oct 29 19:59:56 UTC 2020
Total Comments 95

Post Body:

n/a - not a self post

Related Comments (14):

--- --- Notes
Author Schwertmeisterin
Posted On Tue Oct 27 22:12:07 UTC 2020
Score 30 as of Thu Oct 29 19:59:56 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 7
Body link
Is she even JW? Because I’ve never heard of being ridiculous about holidays (except Halloween) outside ofJWs.
--- --- Notes
Author sneakyveriniki
Posted On Wed Oct 28 22:39:09 UTC 2020
Score 1 as of Thu Oct 29 19:59:56 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 0
Body link
Does anyone know if jehovas witnesses do birthdays?
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Author Almi_KE
Posted On Wed Oct 28 13:48:51 UTC 2020
Score 1 as of Thu Oct 29 19:59:56 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 0
Body link
Damn. This is so culty. Reminds me ofJWs. So sad.
--- --- Notes
Author mesembryanthemum
Posted On Wed Oct 28 01:05:13 UTC 2020
Score 3 as of Thu Oct 29 19:59:56 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 0
Body link
The Jehovah's Witnesses only celebrate what was celebrated in the Bible.
I asked once (born and raised atheist) my Christian (different denominations) friends if the New Testament wasn't one big celebration of Christ's birth. They laughed and said "don't try logic around Jehovah's Witnesses."
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Author sneakyveriniki
Posted On Tue Oct 27 23:36:38 UTC 2020
Score 15 as of Thu Oct 29 19:59:56 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 2
Body link
Okay, if you're still doing "dates" and a single gift (or a feast), this obviously isn't about principles; it isn't like jehovas witnesses who are against it ideologically. you're just cheap. why not say "yes but we believe Christmas should be about family, rather than material objects, which is why we just have a big dinner together" rather than pretend this is about being above everyone who's *of the world*. seriously you buy so many fucking unnecessary matching outfits from Target, you are obviously "of the world"
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Author M3ntallyDiseas3d
Posted On Wed Oct 28 13:44:57 UTC 2020
Score 5 as of Thu Oct 29 19:59:56 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 2
Body link
I thought the same thing. We watched going clear and season one of Leah Remini’s Scientology series. He stopped after the first season. I remember when she aired her special on Jehovah’s Witnesses. I was terrified of watching it while my husband was home. I kept it on the DVR for weeks hoping he’d suggest watching together. Instead I waited until he wasn’t home to watch it.
Right now I have Crisis of Conscience on my nightstand waiting to be read. He saw it and his face turned to fury and I was terrified of him going ballistic. But it’s just a book. He hasn’t mentioned it. I’m also afraid to read it in front of him. But he can’t have control over what I read.
--- --- Notes
Author mandrakebabies
Posted On Tue Oct 27 22:37:27 UTC 2020
Score 77 as of Thu Oct 29 19:59:56 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 1
Body link
No she isn’t but not celebrating anything is a JW trademark.
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Author Mego0427
Posted On Wed Oct 28 08:09:10 UTC 2020
Score 32 as of Thu Oct 29 19:59:56 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 2
Body link
I had to spend two extra hours creating a separate lesson and google slide deck for one class this week because one of the kids is a JW and my other lesson is Halloween themed. It's a terrible attitude to have, but I really get pissed off that one kid not being able to do something so normal and socially acceptable has to ruin it for 25 other kids. I also hate how he has to miss out on stuff because of his parents stupid views
--- --- Notes
Author SevanIII
Posted On Tue Oct 27 23:27:22 UTC 2020
Score 197 as of Thu Oct 29 19:59:56 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 13
Body link
I didn't join theJWs until I was a teenager. I was raised Pentecostal and grew up celebrating the holidays. After I converted to theJWs, I was always sad about not getting to celebrate the holidays anymore. Even for an adult not getting to celebrate the holidays sucks, but it's so much harder for kids. There is so much magic around holidays when you're a kid.
I joke a lot that theJWs are the religion of no fun. Karissa is making her own narcissistic religion of no fun based on the crazy ass voices in her head. Those poor kids.
--- --- Notes
Author GossipGirl515
Posted On Tue Oct 27 22:27:06 UTC 2020
Score 16 as of Thu Oct 29 19:59:56 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 2
Body link
So jehovah witnesses.
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Author Boneal171
Posted On Tue Oct 27 23:14:29 UTC 2020
Score 21 as of Thu Oct 29 19:59:56 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 1
Body link
I’m/never was a JW, but that definitely sounds like sometime JW’s do. Not celebrating holidays or birthdays are somethingJWs are known for
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Author M3ntallyDiseas3d
Posted On Wed Oct 28 13:37:34 UTC 2020
Score 3 as of Thu Oct 29 19:59:56 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 0
Body link
Yes all you can do is either count ceiling tiles or the number of times someone said jehoooooooovah.
At least in the church where I grew up I could stare out the window at the cemetery 😂. Sometimes I got to be acolyte so I could light and extinguish candles. Sometimes I had to carry the trays of wine shot glasses. Horrors!JWs would have clutched their fake pearls at the thought of a mere girl assisting with communion!
--- --- Notes
Author shlamtaster
Posted On Wed Oct 28 00:31:30 UTC 2020
Score 2 as of Thu Oct 29 19:59:56 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 1
Body link
What is the rationale behind not having celebrations forJWs and other joy-banning religions? (I understand Karissa's reason of auditory hallucinations telling her celebrating life=satan worship....) It just seems so counter intuitive. Such a large part of most religions is that community, connectedness, celebrating life's mileatones...
--- --- Notes
Author Elevenyearstoomany
Posted On Wed Oct 28 00:32:12 UTC 2020
Score 49 as of Thu Oct 29 19:59:56 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 0
Body link
I worked with a JW manager of another location. He was planning on coming in on Thanksgiving (one of two paid holidays) to prep catering for the next day. Our area manager suggested we all get together on Thanksgiving to do that. Um, no we celebrate with our families.
submitted by jw_mentions to jw_mentions [link] [comments]


2020.10.28 00:10 RuneFell The time even my super mega extremely Christian mom was flabbergasted by how extreme our church could be.

I was scrolling through Reddit, and I saw a post that, for some reason, reminded me of this memory, though I'm not sure why, and I thought I'd share and see if anybody else had crazy stories like this.
So I grew up in a very, VERY sheltered, Christian family. We didn't have cable TV because there were too many sinful shows on, and instead watched good old fashioned PG Christian and Family Value movies (PG-13 was fairly swoon worthy, and if they happened, we were taught to immediately close our eyes when told to as to not see anything bad. And anything rated R? Psh. Might as well be watching porn!). We were only allowed to listen to Christian music, didn't celebrate Halloween, ended up homeschooled because the schools were too 'worldly', Pokemon taught evolution, role playing games were gateways to witchcraft and satanism, and you didn't 'date', you 'courted'. We went to the Focus on the Family headquarters in Colorado Springs for vacation. Y'know, crazy things like that that made perfect sense when you're an obedient, god-fearing child threatened with hell if you left the true path.
So, suffice to say, my family was very, VERY Christian.
Now, also in our church was one of those uber christian families with a half dozen kids that all had names starting with J and the girls all in dresses and buns, and the boys in black pants and ties. Their dad had passed away when they were pretty young, but the mom still managed to be the perfect Stay At Home mom with the long dresses and braided hair bun, and they never, EVER missed anything Church related. Both services, wednesday church, Bible Study, all that. And one day, we saw all the kids sitting in their normal front pew, but, unusually, their mom wasn't there, and the oldest was holding up a video camera.
Turns out, the mom's throat started swelling up and she was having trouble breathing that morning, so her family immediately went into action and did the Right Christian Thing to do. Aka, she drove herself to the nearest hospital, which was about a twenty minute drive away in the next town over, and all of her kids, three of which had driver's licenses, went to church and brought the camera with to film it for her so she wouldn't have to miss the sermon.
I remember that as soon as we got in the car after church, my mom turned to me and my siblings and informed us all that there was a new family rule. If anybody ever had a medical emergency, like being unable to fucking breathe (she didn't exactly say the 'F' word, but it was definitely implied with her tone of voice), then helping that family member without question would take precedence over listening to an old white guy behind a wooden pulpit drone on about stuff we've already heard a dozen times (she didn't exactly say that either, but I personally felt like it was implied).
The mom ended up being fine in the end, but instead of inspiring others with their level of devotion, like I'm sure they thought they were doing, that family's 'dedication' to the church above everything else was just another item added to my increasingly long list of why these people were kinda crazy and making me wonder why I believed the things I did.
submitted by RuneFell to exchristian [link] [comments]


2020.10.27 22:15 MrBanMan17 The Evidence for Christ and the Bible

It is often stated that you can never prove the existence of God, that this is impossible to prove as no direct evidence is ever possible. Let us begin by asking, what is evidence?
The available body of facts or information indicating whether a belief or proposition is true or valid.
Evidence does not always need to be direct evidence, which is to say you can hold it in your hand, see it with your own eyes. Evidence, as seen by the definition above, is simply a group of facts which supports a belief or hypothesis. We see it all the time in science where something is validated even though no human was able to see it, touch it, or hold it. Let us review the examples of such things which are believed to exist by just about every human alive today:
  1. Gravity - Can you see gravity? Can you touch it? You certainly cannot, but you can see the effects of it consistently and through this indirect evidence we all know it to be real.
  2. Sub-atomic particles - Has anyone ever seen something so small with their own eye? Ever been able to feel it in their hands? Of course not, we have various measurement instruments which tell us of the effects of these things; interactions with other particles, energy emitted, etc.. But no direct evidence. Fairly recently the Atomic Force Microscope was invented which nearly allows us to see atoms, yet this is still indirect as we are measuring the movement of a cantilever to infer the existence and position of these atoms. Regardless, what about smaller particles, the quark, for example?
  3. Electricity - Though we can see lightning storms, we cannot see the electricity flowing through our household electronics that we use on a daily basis. Yet we know that it is there when we turn the lights on.
  4. Black Holes - Up until recently, we never even had hard data showing that these things were real, yet who denied their existence? We were convinced of them by the theories and indirect evidence we saw in the universe. Even the recent photo was stitched together from countless different observatories, far from what we would normally think of with a camera.
  5. Consciousness - Science has not even begun to understand the mysteries of this, and yet we all know that it is real and that we all have it.
  6. Love - Can you see it? Not directly, but we see it when we see someone defending someone else, risking their life for them with no other explicable motivation. We see it with parents staying up night after night for years with their children, patiently nurturing them for no benefit of their own, but for the sole benefit of the child whom they love dearly.
  7. Morality - Again can you see it directly? Of course not, yet we see it in the reaction of people. We see it all around us in the justice system, police, defense of the innocent.
These are just to name a few, but we can see that it is not unreasonable to believe something that you cannot see, touch, or hold in your hand. Yet when God is brought up, it is illogical, blind faith? Certainly not! Let us discuss then the indirect evidence for God:
Morality, Conscience - Evolution tells us that these are the result of millions of years of random change. But if all is random, shouldn't different groups of people have different moral codes? This is not what we see, we see that across the world, stealing, lying, cheating, adultery, jealousy, and murder are all viewed negatively and as evil acts in most circumstances. What are the 10 commandments of the Bible?
  1. You shall have no other gods before Me.
  2. You shall not make for yourself a carved image
  3. You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain, for the Lord will not hold him guiltless who takes His name in vain.
  4. Remember the Sabbath day
  5. Honor your father and your mother.
  6. You shall not murder.
  7. You shall not commit adultery.
  8. You shall not steal.
  9. You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.
  10. You shall not covet anything that is your neighbor’s.”
These are universally considered to be moral codes by every society which is known to have existed. Why such synchronism for a world which should be random? Why do we all feel the same things?
If evolution is true, and the individual cares for nothing more than its own survival, or even that of its family, why do people ever care about risking their lives for complete strangers? Extending help when there is absolutely no chance of receiving payment for such deeds?
Why do we not only have external societal laws, but internal laws within our hearts, which we call conscience? Do we not all feel guilty when we have done something wrong? When we have stolen something for our own profit, with no chance of being caught, yet we still feel it. When we lie, having told no one of this lie and still, we feel guilty of it. The guilt can consume you at time, and drive you to action, in righting a wrong you have committed. Where do these systems come from that are within all of us? Surely this does not contribute to our own survival more often than not, it would more likely to be beneficial to continue to lie and steal and cheat whenever possible.
If the world around us then is non-random, then this means that there is an intelligent design behind it. And if this is true, that intelligence is God.
Religion - Between Christianity, Islam, Hinduism, and Buddhism, there are 5.9 billion people currently in the world who believe in spiritual entities, mainly God or gods which created the world and sustain everything around us. Why would so many people believe in something if there were not some truth to it? What drives this belief? But this supports the idea of a spiritual world, not that Christianity is the truth. So which one is correct, if any?
Fallen World - One of the primary beliefs in Christianity, the one which tells us that we need a Savior in the first place, is that human nature is one of great evil and that each and every human is evil and in need of God for salvation, being unable to be good on their own. All other religions teach works based salvation, where the individual must performs these works routinely in order to maintain salvation, and that you are never sure of whether you will make it to eternal paradise until you die. Christianity is just the opposite, that the individual can never atone for their sin, and that we do not need to, that anyone who is willing to accept Him into your life, the sin has already been atoned for us by Jesus Christ. But to accept this, you must accept that you are not a good person, contrary to popular belief, and you must repent of your sins.
Well, what does the evidence show us? What do we see in the world around us? Do we see a good, peaceful world, full of good people? Or do we see a world in which law and order are required to be maintained in order to prevent the world from descending into chaos? Do we see riots and looting in cities across the country, burning down buildings and pulling down statues, and the police being pulled back? Do we see complex legal codes, justice and penal systems in place to also maintain law and order? Do you feel safe to leave your valuable possessions on the front seat of your car for all to see? Do you feel safe to leave your children with strangers? Do you feel safe to leave your front door unlocked while you sleep at night?
The world around us continuously confirms, as does history, the story that Christianity tells us contrary to what everyone else tells us.
Personal Testimonies - These you may believe or not believe, but they certainly exist whether real or fabricated. People have stories all the time of miracles in their lives, near death experiences, seeing demons, answered prayers, and visions or dreams which come true, among other things which all are attributed to God. You can search online for an endless number of these accounts, some undoubtedly are fake, but are they all?
I have had my own experiences, which you can read here - Demons Are Real
Church History, Martyrs - I am sure you have all heard of the apostles of Jesus Christ all being killed for their beliefs. Peter the apostle was crucified upside down as he deemed himself unworthy of dying in the same manner as Christ. As with any historical event, we cannot "prove" this with direct evidence, but here is a site which discusses some of the evidence - Evidence for Peter's Crucifixion.
What drove these men to be so willing to die for the name of Jesus Christ? They must have seen something that spurred their belief. If you believe the Bible, all of the apostles saw various miracles performed by Christ, including seeing Him alive after He was crucified and buried in a tomb.
The Bible - The Bible is a special book. It gives us many first hand accounts of miracles of God, one of them being the death and resurrection of Christ. Shall we discount this historical text simply because it claims things which seem to many to be impossible? What truly makes these things impossible for a God who is outside of the laws of physics which He created?
Did you know that it is the highest selling book of all time? Did you also know that it is also the highest selling book each and every year? Why do you think that is? It does not necessarily prove anything one way or the other, though it does seem meaningful in some way. How about the fame of the book? Have you ever met someone who does not know of the Biblical Flood? How about someone who did not know who Jesus Christ was? Again, this is not necessarily evidence that it is true, though it is evidence of something special about the book.
This book is a first hand account, eyewitness testimony, as previously mentioned. There is an entire book of it! Because of the claims that this book makes, it has come, and continues to be, under intense scrutiny greater than any other historical text. And it is just that, a historical text. It is only viewed differently than other documents due to its content, and for no other reason. This is incredible bias and has no place in science.
The gospels, especially Luke which was written for this purpose, provides us with eyewitness testimonies of the life, miracles, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Paul even mentions that over 500 early Christians witnessed the resurrected Jesus all at the same time. Are all of these people crazy? Have they made these things up? As previously mentioned, they certainly believed what they wrote enough to die for it, at the very least.
Evidence which corroborates the Bible - Contrary to popular belief and suppressed by mainstream science, there is actually a host of findings which not only discredit evolution and the old earth theory, but actually support the stories told from the Bible as true history:
As the rock layers stand, it is quite obvious these layers were placed abruptly on top of one another. This supports the Flood theory of the Bible, where the entire earth was catastrophically flooded and sediment was moved on top of more sediment from different parts of the world. This is discussed further here - No Gradual Erosion.
Biblical Prophecy - This is a big one, and cannot be explained by any means other than supernatural ones. There have been countless predictions made by the writings in the Bible, fulfilled in both later writings within the Bible and also in the 2,000 years since its completion.
The truth is, despite what the world will tell you, that there is in fact evidence of God, of Jesus Christ. His followers do not have blind faith. There is immense evidence, both personal and shared, which tell show us the effects of Jesus Christ. The truth is, that if you honestly seek truth and do not reject the idea that there is a God who died for your sins for the simple reason that you do not like it, this will be revealed to you in time. Ask Him for help, and believe that He may do it, not simply performing an empty exercise to say you tried and He did not answer you, then He shall certainly answer you.
Seek truth, and you shall find it, and it shall set you free. Call on the name of Jesus Christ, for help, for guidance, for truth, and He will show you all things.
submitted by MrBanMan17 to TrueChristian [link] [comments]


2020.10.27 22:14 MrBanMan17 The Evidence For Christ

It is often stated that you can never prove the existence of God, that this is impossible to prove as no direct evidence is ever possible. Let us begin by asking, what is evidence?
The available body of facts or information indicating whether a belief or proposition is true or valid.
Evidence does not always need to be direct evidence, which is to say you can hold it in your hand, see it with your own eyes. Evidence, as seen by the definition above, is simply a group of facts which supports a belief or hypothesis. We see it all the time in science where something is validated even though no human was able to see it, touch it, or hold it. Let us review the examples of such things which are believed to exist by just about every human alive today:
  1. Gravity - Can you see gravity? Can you touch it? You certainly cannot, but you can see the effects of it consistently and through this indirect evidence we all know it to be real.
  2. Sub-atomic particles - Has anyone ever seen something so small with their own eye? Ever been able to feel it in their hands? Of course not, we have various measurement instruments which tell us of the effects of these things; interactions with other particles, energy emitted, etc.. But no direct evidence. Fairly recently the Atomic Force Microscope was invented which nearly allows us to see atoms, yet this is still indirect as we are measuring the movement of a cantilever to infer the existence and position of these atoms. Regardless, what about smaller particles, the quark, for example?
  3. Electricity - Though we can see lightning storms, we cannot see the electricity flowing through our household electronics that we use on a daily basis. Yet we know that it is there when we turn the lights on.
  4. Black Holes - Up until recently, we never even had hard data showing that these things were real, yet who denied their existence? We were convinced of them by the theories and indirect evidence we saw in the universe. Even the recent photo was stitched together from countless different observatories, far from what we would normally think of with a camera.
  5. Consciousness - Science has not even begun to understand the mysteries of this, and yet we all know that it is real and that we all have it.
  6. Love - Can you see it? Not directly, but we see it when we see someone defending someone else, risking their life for them with no other explicable motivation. We see it with parents staying up night after night for years with their children, patiently nurturing them for no benefit of their own, but for the sole benefit of the child whom they love dearly.
  7. Morality - Again can you see it directly? Of course not, yet we see it in the reaction of people. We see it all around us in the justice system, police, defense of the innocent.
These are just to name a few, but we can see that it is not unreasonable to believe something that you cannot see, touch, or hold in your hand. Yet when God is brought up, it is illogical, blind faith? Certainly not! Let us discuss then the indirect evidence for God:
Morality, Conscience - Evolution tells us that these are the result of millions of years of random change. But if all is random, shouldn't different groups of people have different moral codes? This is not what we see, we see that across the world, stealing, lying, cheating, adultery, jealousy, and murder are all viewed negatively and as evil acts in most circumstances. What are the 10 commandments of the Bible?
  1. You shall have no other gods before Me.
  2. You shall not make for yourself a carved image
  3. You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain, for the Lord will not hold him guiltless who takes His name in vain.
  4. Remember the Sabbath day
  5. Honor your father and your mother.
  6. You shall not murder.
  7. You shall not commit adultery.
  8. You shall not steal.
  9. You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.
  10. You shall not covet anything that is your neighbor’s.”
These are universally considered to be moral codes by every society which is known to have existed. Why such synchronism for a world which should be random? Why do we all feel the same things?
If evolution is true, and the individual cares for nothing more than its own survival, or even that of its family, why do people ever care about risking their lives for complete strangers? Extending help when there is absolutely no chance of receiving payment for such deeds?
Why do we not only have external societal laws, but internal laws within our hearts, which we call conscience? Do we not all feel guilty when we have done something wrong? When we have stolen something for our own profit, with no chance of being caught, yet we still feel it. When we lie, having told no one of this lie and still, we feel guilty of it. The guilt can consume you at time, and drive you to action, in righting a wrong you have committed. Where do these systems come from that are within all of us? Surely this does not contribute to our own survival more often than not, it would more likely to be beneficial to continue to lie and steal and cheat whenever possible.
If the world around us then is non-random, then this means that there is an intelligent design behind it. And if this is true, that intelligence is God.
Religion - Between Christianity, Islam, Hinduism, and Buddhism, there are 5.9 billion people currently in the world who believe in spiritual entities, mainly God or gods which created the world and sustain everything around us. Why would so many people believe in something if there were not some truth to it? What drives this belief? But this supports the idea of a spiritual world, not that Christianity is the truth. So which one is correct, if any?
Fallen World - One of the primary beliefs in Christianity, the one which tells us that we need a Savior in the first place, is that human nature is one of great evil and that each and every human is evil and in need of God for salvation, being unable to be good on their own. All other religions teach works based salvation, where the individual must performs these works routinely in order to maintain salvation, and that you are never sure of whether you will make it to eternal paradise until you die. Christianity is just the opposite, that the individual can never atone for their sin, and that we do not need to, that anyone who is willing to accept Him into your life, the sin has already been atoned for us by Jesus Christ. But to accept this, you must accept that you are not a good person, contrary to popular belief, and you must repent of your sins.
Well, what does the evidence show us? What do we see in the world around us? Do we see a good, peaceful world, full of good people? Or do we see a world in which law and order are required to be maintained in order to prevent the world from descending into chaos? Do we see riots and looting in cities across the country, burning down buildings and pulling down statues, and the police being pulled back? Do we see complex legal codes, justice and penal systems in place to also maintain law and order? Do you feel safe to leave your valuable possessions on the front seat of your car for all to see? Do you feel safe to leave your children with strangers? Do you feel safe to leave your front door unlocked while you sleep at night?
The world around us continuously confirms, as does history, the story that Christianity tells us contrary to what everyone else tells us.
Personal Testimonies - These you may believe or not believe, but they certainly exist whether real or fabricated. People have stories all the time of miracles in their lives, near death experiences, seeing demons, answered prayers, and visions or dreams which come true, among other things which all are attributed to God. You can search online for an endless number of these accounts, some undoubtedly are fake, but are they all?
I have had my own experiences, which you can read here - Demons Are Real
Church History, Martyrs - I am sure you have all heard of the apostles of Jesus Christ all being killed for their beliefs. Peter the apostle was crucified upside down as he deemed himself unworthy of dying in the same manner as Christ. As with any historical event, we cannot "prove" this with direct evidence, but here is a site which discusses some of the evidence - Evidence for Peter's Crucifixion.
What drove these men to be so willing to die for the name of Jesus Christ? They must have seen something that spurred their belief. If you believe the Bible, all of the apostles saw various miracles performed by Christ, including seeing Him alive after He was crucified and buried in a tomb.
The Bible - The Bible is a special book. It gives us many first hand accounts of miracles of God, one of them being the death and resurrection of Christ. Shall we discount this historical text simply because it claims things which seem to many to be impossible? What truly makes these things impossible for a God who is outside of the laws of physics which He created?
Did you know that it is the highest selling book of all time? Did you also know that it is also the highest selling book each and every year? Why do you think that is? It does not necessarily prove anything one way or the other, though it does seem meaningful in some way. How about the fame of the book? Have you ever met someone who does not know of the Biblical Flood? How about someone who did not know who Jesus Christ was? Again, this is not necessarily evidence that it is true, though it is evidence of something special about the book.
This book is a first hand account, eyewitness testimony, as previously mentioned. There is an entire book of it! Because of the claims that this book makes, it has come, and continues to be, under intense scrutiny greater than any other historical text. And it is just that, a historical text. It is only viewed differently than other documents due to its content, and for no other reason. This is incredible bias and has no place in science.
The gospels, especially Luke which was written for this purpose, provides us with eyewitness testimonies of the life, miracles, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Paul even mentions that over 500 early Christians witnessed the resurrected Jesus all at the same time. Are all of these people crazy? Have they made these things up? As previously mentioned, they certainly believed what they wrote enough to die for it, at the very least.
Evidence which corroborates the Bible - Contrary to popular belief and suppressed by mainstream science, there is actually a host of findings which not only discredit evolution and the old earth theory, but actually support the stories told from the Bible as true history:
As the rock layers stand, it is quite obvious these layers were placed abruptly on top of one another. This supports the Flood theory of the Bible, where the entire earth was catastrophically flooded and sediment was moved on top of more sediment from different parts of the world. This is discussed further here - No Gradual Erosion.
Biblical Prophecy - This is a big one, and cannot be explained by any means other than supernatural ones. There have been countless predictions made by the writings in the Bible, fulfilled in both later writings within the Bible and also in the 2,000 years since its completion.
The truth is, despite what the world will tell you, that there is in fact evidence of God, of Jesus Christ. His followers do not have blind faith. There is immense evidence, both personal and shared, which tell show us the effects of Jesus Christ. The truth is, that if you honestly seek truth and do not reject the idea that there is a God who died for your sins for the simple reason that you do not like it, this will be revealed to you in time. Ask Him for help, and believe that He may do it, not simply performing an empty exercise to say you tried and He did not answer you, then He shall certainly answer you.
Seek truth, and you shall find it, and it shall set you free. Call on the name of Jesus Christ, for help, for guidance, for truth, and He will show you all things.
submitted by MrBanMan17 to conspiracy [link] [comments]


2020.10.27 18:19 lukerzobel Struggling with multiple topics

Hello everyone! I have been silently reading this sub for about 8 months and this is easily my favorite sub on Reddit. I have never felt the need to post, but recently I've come to a few road blocks. I am relatively new to the area of Apologetic, so forgive me if I use the wrong terminology. I have picked up on some of the jargon here and there though :)
  1. The Validity of the Old Testament
The validity of the New Testament is very convincing in my opinion. Of course that's not enough evidence for it to be true lol. The thing that I have recently been struggling with is the validity of the Old Testament. I recently have come in contact with the Documentary Hypothesis. Of course, this is just a theory, but it is really making me have some questions. It is generally argued by conservative Christians that Moses wrote most of the Pentateuch, but that is just based of Jewish tradition. Some people argue that someone in David's time period made it and other argue for a much later date. Even if Moses did not write the Pentateuch, it's not the end of the world, but it does take away from some of the authenticity in my opinion. Jesus said that all of the Old Testament was authoritative, so I wouldn't completely reject its value. I would appreciate a response that doesn't use the Bible as a source of reasoning. I know that the Bible claims that Moses wrote it, but if there is any external evidence that suggests that, I would apprentice it!
There's also a lot of talk about how the Torah was constantly edited until around Jesus' time. I do not think that small edits in the Bible undermines its divinity. If someone changed the names of God to better convey the relationship, I think that is okay. Now if someone were to change a story and its meaning, then I would have an issue. Is there any evidence for this? Against this?
2. Objective Morality
Another issue is that I am having is coming up with even a slightly convincing argument for Objective Morality. I'm a college student and I am taking an Ethics class. Last week we were asked this question - "Is there anything unconditionally good, anything that is good, no matter what?" and I sat there and I was like... well... no. Everything seems like it is completely subjective. I answered the question like this-
"There is nothing that is truly good in this world, but I say that with caution. Humans are the people who determine what good or bad is. We make things a lot more complicated than it needs to be. For example, wind. Is wind good? It's good when it pushes the wind turbines and creates energy for people. On the other hand, wind is bad when it blows down someone's house. Wind is a non man made thing, but yet it can be bad. Man controls everything, even things out of their control. Of course nothing can be good! Humans have made the definition of good impossible to reach. The word "good" isn't even good"
I honestly don't know where this answer came from, but I felt like it conveyed exactly what I wanted to say. Nothing can be good because "good" as a human does not exist. There cannot be good from a human perspective at all. This is why people need a divine source of morality in order to have "good" and "bad". I know that that was a extremely basic description of the argument, but am I on the right track? Another thing I need help with is leading this argument back to the Christian God. Someone could correctly argue that Allah or Zeus is their divine authority for morality.
I know that this is a lot of stuff and you don't have to answer it all. This sub has answered so many of my questions and saved my faith a few times. Everyone on this sub is awesome and I'm glad God made you with such intelligent minds, even people who think differently than me. Thank you in advance for your time and answers. Have a blessed day.
submitted by lukerzobel to ChristianApologetics [link] [comments]


2020.10.27 18:09 art33misss Should I (25F) date someone (27M) with different political views?

**This was removed from dating because of politics?? Not sure where this should be posted but its for advice and not to discuss politics so hopefully it doesn't get removed here too.
Disclaimer: This isn't to get into politics, just need relationship advice about the situation.
TLDR: I'm very politically opinionated - him? not so much. I definitely have a temper when it comes to my political views and he considers himself right leaning and I'm very much a socialist left leaning liberal. Emphasis on right leaning because he dislikes both parties and doesn't want to confine to one but says he does lean more towards the right. How does one get over different political ideals in a relationship or will this ruin us long term?
Firstly, part of it is my fault. When I first meet someone and we get to know eachother, I kind of oppress the politically passionate side of myself until later because I know I can be a lot and I just don't want that to be a reason someone doesn't like me anymore romantically. SO i usually tell people, I'm kind of central left leaning but not really explain the extremities of my beliefs. Politics are a touchy subject and I just feel awkward bringing that up on dates.
His family is very right wing (mine is too but thats a whole other story as I am the black sheep of my family), christian, etc and he falls into that as well. I have no problem with people being right wing, republicans, etc. But with the current situation, I dislike trump a lot and I try not to generalize everyone but sometimes I tend to. I have a hard time not believing anyone who supports trump has underlying homophobia, racism, etc (again I don't want to make this post political but this is just to explain my stance for the background of the situation).
The situation is that we don't really argue about politics at all. He never gets mad at me and says I am wrong. He isn't very argumentative or opinionated which does help the situation. In fact, he agrees with me a lot of the time until he is around friends and family. His friends are pretty right wing and it kind of makes him lean towards whatever his friends and family tell him. He isnt voting in the election but I get extremely uncomfortable when his friends talk about biden and how horrible he is and I never say anything because I personally hate confrontation. He has no problem with my going to BLM protests but won't march with me which kind of makes me sad but I won't force him. I just wish we both had the same passions about politics. And I can't help but wonder if he lowkey supports trump and just won't admit it around me because he won't talk about politics with me but he really gets it into it with friends who are trump supporters.
The longer we are together (just hit a year), the more I realize this could cause issues down the line with politics and a lot of the blame is myself for being stubborn because its hard for me to get along with anyone who doesn't have the same political ideals (I know this is ignorant but my family is the cause for a lot of this and it would be a lot to explain).
The question is: How does one get over dating someone with different politics or will it ruin us long term? And how does one see past it if they decide to work through it?
submitted by art33misss to dating_advice [link] [comments]


2020.10.27 14:24 Einmariya 💀👻🎃 Samhain & the Blue Full Moon - October 31 🌒🌕🌘

Welcome to the latest sabbat informational post! Throughout the year, we will be posting up these threads to share general information about the next upcoming sabbat so WvP's witches, new and old, can prepare for the holiday. These posts will contain basic information about the holiday and open up for the floor for further questions or discussion.

Special Note About Halloween & Samhain:

For the sake of this post, I'm going to assume that WvP's witches are familiar with the basic principles of the modern Halloween and that it is derived from a conglomeration of older, pagan rituals from around Samhain. After all, Halloween is a pretty basic cultural concept at this point (pop or otherwise), having spread itself globally via media and the internet to places where it was barely heard of even a decade ago.
As such, I'm not going to be talking about Halloween and its connections with Samhain at all in this post. Samhain itself is, after all, a very important witch's holiday in its own right and deserves its proper consideration by itself aside for its current popular holiday connections.
If there's interest, I could put together another post (later, after Samhain) that goes a bit more in depth about particular aspects of Samhain and how they're related to modern Halloween celebrations. But this post as it is will certainly be long enough on its own, I assure you!

💀👻🎃 Samhain & the Blue Full Moon - October 31 🌒🌕🌘

What and When is Samhain?

Samhain (pronounced SAH-win or SOW-in) is one of the eight sabbats of the modern pagan Wheel of the Year. It is one of the "greater sabbats", falling approximately halfway between an equinox and a solstice. The others are Imbolc (mid-Winter), Beltane (mid-Spring), and Lughnasadh (mid-Summer). Samhain also has extra importance due to being the beginning of the Celtic New Year.
In the northern hemisphere, Samhain falls on November 1st, but it is an almost universal practice to celebrate it beginning at sunset of October 31st. According to the original Celtic calendar, days begin at sunset, and because Samhain is such an important holiday, this sunset starting time stuck around longer than it has for other holidays.
For our Southern Hemisphere witches, the next holiday is Beltane, the beginning of the Light half of the year, and its celebrations traditionally fall on November 1st. For more information, check out our earlier Beltane post!

What's all this now about a Blue Moon?

The next Full Moon also falls on October 31st this year, and since it is the second Full Moon within the calendar month of October, it counts as a Blue Moon! It's also the Hunter's Moon and a "micromoon" (meaning that the moon is at its further point from Earth, the opposite of a "supermoon").
Due to the conjunction of a Blue Full Moon and Samhain/Beltane falling on the same date (and of course given the current state of, well, everything), many witches around the world have been using this as an opportunity to add more potency to their spells and rituals, or are otherwise doing more than they might otherwise.

Samhain: History, Connections, and Modern Practice

In historic Gaelic tradition, the year was split into two halves, the dark half and the light half. The dark half of the year began on Samhain, and following the tradition of dates starting with darkness, Samhain also marks the beginning of the New Year as well. It was celebrated throughout Ireland, Scotland, and the Isle of Man, and similar celebrations can also be seen in Wales and parts of England. Based on historical records, we can tell that the original festival likely lasted for more than a single day, with estimates going as high as a full seven days (three days before and after Samhain, plus the day itself).
Samhain is a liminal time, when the veil to the Otherworld is thin, and such it is a perfect time to venerate ancestors and the dead. The fair folk are also more active at this time, as are other spirits and entities. Much was done to both honour the dead and the spirits and other entities, and also to protect one's self from them. Some of these practices included leaving out a dumb supper for the dead, mumming and disguising to hide from spirits (or collect food on their behalf), sacrificing livestock that would not have survived the winter, or otherwise leaving food or other offerings and sacrifices.
Another benefit of the thinning veil is that Samhain is the perfect time for divination of all sorts. Traditionally, this was primarily done in and around the Samhain bonfire. One Scottish ritual involved placing stones in ash around the fire and seeing if any were misplaced by morning. Apples and hazelnuts were also often used in divination rituals, with apples in particular having a strong connection to the dead and being at the height of ripeness.
As you might expect from such an important holiday, Samhain also crops up frequently in Celtic myths and legends. In some cases, such as with the Nemedians in the Lebor Gabála Érenn, Samhain was a time of great sacrifice and may have been used symbolically to represent the harshness of the winter months. Later on, Samhain marks the start of the Second Battle of Mag Tuired when the Tuatha Dé Danann finally defeat the Fomorians, and finally, Finn McCool defeats Áillen on Samhain, ending his 23-year cyclic fiery destruction of Tara.
Samhain is connected to a few different locations in Ireland, such as Oweynagat ("cave of cats") in Rathcroghan, or Tlachtga ("hill of ward") in the Boyne Valley. The Hill of Tara has an especially notable connection at the Mound of Hostages, as the entrance passage is aligned with the sunrise during astrological time period around Samhain.
Many deities also have connections to the holiday, or various aspects of it. In Celtic Mythology, we have The Morrígan and The Dagda (via their encounter before the Second Battle of Mag Tuired), and Tlachtga (a deity or druidess who gave her name to the hill mentioned above). In Scotland, the Cailleach begins her rule. In Wiccan tradition, Samhain marks the death of the Horned God (don't worry, he'll be reborn during Yule) and the Goddess is strongest in her Crone phase. Other deities from traditions around the world are also connected to this time, such as Persephone whose primary myth also involves a split between the dark and light halves of the year, or any other deity associated with Death or Darkness.
As Samhain traditions have managed to survive into the current times so well, modern witches have a wealth of information to pull from for Samhain rituals and celebrations. Although the livestock- and harvest-related aspects of the holiday are less important to us, we can all appreciate and make use of the thinning of the veil, and taking time out of our lives to honour our ancestors, other dead, and all the fairies and spirits and other denizens of the Otherworld that are at their strongest during this time of year.
Honouring our ancestors and other dead spirits is one the most important aspects of Samhain and something almost every witch will try to take time to do in some shape or form during this time. One of the simplest and most common ways to do this is to make an extra meal during Samhain and leave it at an empty space at your dining table, to offer the food for any ancestors who wish to visit during this time. Many witches may also visit graveyards, both of known ancestors or to otherwise honour the forgotten dead who may not have anyone else to visit.
Additionally, just like our ancestors did, now is the perfect time for witches of all ages, knowledge, and skill to brush up on their divination. It's a perfect time to start learning a new divination technique or hone an existing one. Pick up a deck of tarot cards or a pendulum. If you have no talent or inclination towards divination on your own, you may wish to hire a small business witch to do a reading for you.
Aside from traditional Celtic celebrations, many other cultures around the world have their own ways to honour the dead and the coming winter. One of the most well-known examples of this is the Mexican Día de Muertos (Day of the Dead), which was itself based on earlier Aztec festivals honouring Mictēcacihuātl, "Lady of the Dead". Check out the Festival of the Dead page on Wikipedia for a more comprehensive listing of other autumnal, death- and ancestry-related festivals. Especially when honouring ancestors, you may wish to include aspects of some customs they might have known during their lives.
One other pagan aspect of this time of year that I'd like to touch on quick is the Wild Hunt. Chasing the pre-Christian history of the Wild Hunt is far beyond the scope of this post, but it has roots through much of western Europe and is connected to many of the same deities and themes that are so prevalent with Samhain as well, as autumn gets deeper, the dark gets darker, and the spirits become more restless and powerful. Some practitioners of different types of European paganism like to encorprate aspects of the Wild Hunt into their devotions and rituals for this time of year.
Check out our section below for some more specific ideas and examples of ways to celebrate Samhain with yourself, or maybe even a few (properly distanced) family or friends.
As a part of the Wheel of the Year, Samhain follows Mabon, and the beginning of the Dark Half of the year is starting. By now, everything should be harvested and the cattle should be brought to their winter pastures. It is a time to reflect on and honour the dead, and prepare ourselves mentally, physically, and spiritually for the long, cold, dark winter coming up ahead.
If you look at the sabbats as a reflection of the self, Samhain is the beginning and the end. It is a time to reflect on the accomplishments of the past year, and to begin looking ahead to what is coming. Mother nature will come alive again in spring, and in the meantime, we need to get right with ourselves, each other, and the world, to set us up for the best chance of success when we begin to sprout again in a few months. Think about what long-term goals and intentions you'd like to work on and take the initial steps towards planning them out.
Symbols: Skulls/Skeletons, Ghosts, Jack-o-Lanterns, Brooms, Cauldrons, Acorns/Nuts Colours: Black, White, Purple, Orange, Red Plants/Herbs: Oak, Rowan, Hazel, Rosemary, Mint, Calendula, Sage, Wormwood Foods: Apples, Pumpkins/Gourds, Nuts, Turnips, Breads, Soul Cakes

Simple rituals and ways to celebrate Samhain include:

  • Honour your ancestors and any other dead you personally wish to honour. This may include visiting graves, hosting a dumb supper, or perhaps following some specific cultural traditions as part of a Festival of the Dead or other Ancestor Veneration. This is a personal thing, so do what works best for you.
  • Honour the Forgotten Dead, those who have no one else to remember them. You may wish to follow a ritual, by yourself or with others, or perhaps something more low-key would suit you, like visiting an old graveyard and speaking to any spirits who may be near.
  • Build a ritual bonfire, a great way to celebrate and stay warm while social-distantly visiting with family and friends. One popular Samhain bonfire ritual is to write something you wish to discard on a bay leaf or piece of paper and symbolically burn it in the fire while thinking of a positive thing with which you'd like to replace it.
  • Perform a divination technique to make the most of the thinning veil. Seances, ouija boards, and other "direct" spiritual communication is popular during this time, or you may prefer something more concrete such as tarot or casting runes. If you've been drawn to divination but not started, now is a great time to give it a whirl! Or you might like to support a small business witch to do a reading for you.
  • Setup, clean, and/or refresh your altar for Samhain. Check here or over at tumblr if you'd like ideas or inspiration.
  • If you want something a bit more old school than the traditional jack-o-lantern, try making your very own turnip head!
  • Make an ancestral altar or shrine with physical mementos of loved ones. This doubles as a great space to make any further ancestral offerings during the season. Remember, you don't only have to only your blood kin, but any others who have passed on can be honoured.
  • If you're not sure what to offer the dead, bake a batch of Soul Cakes.
  • Cook some other Samhain-inspired goodies to unleash your inner Kitchen Witch; here are some suggestions. Freshest is bestest!
  • Perform a Samhain seasonal rite/ritual. Here is a good example of a solitary Samhain ritual, for practicing witches without a coven. This is an example of a simple group ritual that can be customized to fit your needs. This post also contains some nice seasonal spells, rituals, crafts, and rites.
  • Perform an ancestor-related ritual or ceremony. This page contains a number of simple examples to build off of.
  • If you're celebrating Samhain with children, find some ways ways to include them in the holiday, such as by making some child-friendly Samhain crafts.
  • You can also try your hand at another traditional Irish craft, the Parshell Cross, which is very similar to a rowan cross.
  • Celebrate by eating and cooking with seasonal produce.

Tips for New and/or Broom Closet Witches

Samhain can be an intimidating holiday for a new witch, especially one with a religious family and/or one still in the broom closet in any respect. On one hand, the massive pop culture explosion of Halloween has brought death and spookiness into the mainstream for October, and it's easy to blend in. On the other hand, that same popularity can make it difficult to separate out and enjoy the more spiritual aspects of the holiday. Further, there are a great many misconception in the general public about witches and Samhain that can make things particularly uncomfortable.
That said, one of the most important things about Samhain is also the simplest and easiest to do in your own personal way, whatever that is: honouring the dead. Visit a cemetery, look at pictures, leave out an offering of food, think, remember. There are so many ways to honour and connect with those who have gone before, and everyone can do this in their own way. It's also a good way to help come to terms with our own mortality.
In more fun news, this is the perfect time for witches of all types to have fun buying "seasonal" products for year round use. Halloween is perfect for finding lots of witchy, gothy, spooky stuff for altars or deity veneration, jewellery, or even just going full a e s t h e t i c and decorating your space however you like.
Witchy seasonal baking is also in full swing this time of year, and everything pumpkin is super in season, so dig right in! Apples, nuts, dense breads, corn, these are all great foodstuffs that are seasonably appropriate and can be used in a variety of dishes, pastries, drinks, or anything you'd like. Closeted witches may find themselves extra clumsy this time of year, "dropping" food on the floor can't be eaten any longer and must be disposed of (a decent way to disguise offerings, if done in moderation).
Much of the importance of the Wheel of the Year is to really incorporate yourself with nature and the earth's yearly cycles. For most of the temperate, northern part of the world, autumn is definitely in full swing, and some places are already seeing snow flurries. Enjoy the changing colours of the leaves and the brisk freshness of the air during a forest walk, if you can. Now is a great time to spot mushrooms, gather acorns and rowan berries, and to enjoy the stillness of mother nature going to sleep. How are the animals and plants in your neighbourhood preparing for the coming winter? What do you still need to prepare yourself for the coming cold and dark?
Feel free to ask any questions you might have below or otherwise use this post for discussion about Samhain (northern witches), the upcoming Blue Full Moon, or Beltane (southern witches)!
submitted by Einmariya to WitchesVsPatriarchy [link] [comments]


2020.10.27 09:57 Nearby_Dimension9247 I was my ex’s sex slave

We were cuddling in bed, wearing just underwear. He said, “I wanna show you something cool!” He pulled down my underwear and started eating me out
It was my first sexual act, and it felt so fucking good, that I came right into his mouth. He was a natural.
...But he never asked.
This isn’t where it started, nor where it ended. This is just one particular experience that I had with my abuser that will always haunt me.
I have so many conflicting feelings about that day.
“Was it really rape if I orgasmed?” “Was it really rape if I did what he said?”
Yes, it was, because he never asked.
And I wouldn’t have been in that position if he hadn’t been verbally abusive towards me for not wanting to have sex with him.
“Consent is bullshit,” he would tell me everytime I tried to defend myself.
He would shame me, call me names, threaten to leave me...even weeks before he raped me for the first time.
He would flirt with other women, fight with me, tell his friends I was a bad partner.
Eventually, I just got tired.
Despite my personal discomfort and feelings towards it, I agreed to give him a blowjob, because I felt like I had to compete with the women who he would flirt with. I told my friend, she said it was “my doing.” Yes, I technically agreed. But would I have if he wasn’t abusive? Absolutely fucking not.
He knew just how afraid I was of him. He knew my biggest fears. He knew if he ever left me, I’d be all alone. That’s how he got what he wanted.
I can’t remember all of the ways he manipulated and coerced me, because I rather not, but, over time, it was like a broken record.
Whenever he would eat me out, I was expected to return the favor. It didn’t matter anyway, cuz we had already done that stuff, I guess. I would just give him what he wanted, then he’d be good to me, right?
Not exactly.
He wasn’t just sexually abusing me. No. The whole time, he had been conditioning me to be his perfect, little sex slave. And that’s what I became.
In class, he would touch me inappropriately out of nowhere. In front of our classmates, our professor, probably 5 security cameras. In public, he’d grab me down there and start fingering me, while he would gag me with his slimy tongue. Didn’t matter what time of day it was, where we were, who we were with, he’d forcefully finger me without ever asking. Not even once. Didn’t matter though, I wouldn’t have been allowed to say no anyway.
I was rarely allowed to leave his room. Only for class. But I had to come right back. I had to prove where I was at all times, and I was expected to be naked, or at least, wearing nothing but my underwear, and waiting for him in his bed for when he returned to his room. Then he’d start doing whatever he wanted to me. I’d basically just dissociate the entire time, watching myself from above, wishing I could break free, but knowing I never could.
I was only allowed to go to the cafeteria if he was there. We had to cook for each other. He would tell me I was a terrible cook each time, and that I should “be better at my wifely duties.” He would also tell me how my butt wasn’t round enough, I wasn’t skinny enough, my makeup was ugly, or point at the last woman he had sex with before he “chose” me. On nights when he didn’t want to eat in the caf, he would buy himself food. He didn’t buy any for me, though. Leftovers? Yeah, I was allowed to have them, if I took them out of the garbage (or if there was no garbage around for him to throw it out).
Yeah, I had to eat a 2 day old domino’s cookie brownie out of a college trash can filled with cum tissues. The worst part was, 3/4 of the cookie brownie remained. He actually just threw it out, without ever offering me a bite. Basically, he couldn’t be bothered to think of me. I was useless unless I was sucking his dick.
He would constantly tell me that I should drink alcohol, despite the fact that I didn’t want to. He told me I was boring, or “too Christian.” He was telling me about this big party, and didn’t wanna be the only guy who was dating someone who didn’t drink. In retrospect, I think he wanted to get me Black out drunk so I’d “willingly agree” to have pv sex with him. Yeah, we hadn’t done pv yet, but he sure as hell wanted to. He brought back a giant package of condoms from spring break, saying that “it was for us.”
Then came the night of that party... the worst night of my life. Fortunately, I hadn’t lost my virginity, but it’s a night that still keeps me up with PTSD symptoms ranging from paranoia to full out body tremors.
I didn’t go to the party, but about halfway through the night, I got a text from him. Something along the lines of “don’t leave the room.” I didn’t really think anything of it at first, but then I was overcome with an overwhelming sense of panic, “What if he rapes me?” (pv sex).
After an hour of debating whether I should leave the room or not, I decided it was best I just stayed in his room. After all, he’d be pissed if I left, and I didn’t want to upset him.
As quickly as I had fallen asleep, I was awoken by the sound of keys unlocking the door. Sure enough, he stumbled in, his gait tipsy from drinking, but he hadn’t said a single word to me. He just stared into my eyes as he made his way over to the bed, horny as ever.
I dissociated as usual, so here is where it starts to get blurry for me.
I remember him being on top of me, and then him eating me out. I just went along with it, because, one, I wasn’t allowed to say no anyway, and, two, because, If I didn’t, he’d probably start to fight with me, or, worst case scenario, he’d steal my virginity.
While he was eating me out, I started to panic, thinking to myself, “What if he is too drunk to consent?” I immediately froze. A billion thoughts were running through my brain, but two thoughts that I distinctly remember where:
“This is the lowest point in my life,” and “I wish I could just say no.”
Suddenly, my body started trembling. I was shivering, and my teeth were chattering. I don’t remember what he said, but he stopped, asking something condescending, and not really concerned about my well-being.
I had a panic attack, and was staring wide-eyed as he looked at me, fascinated, like I was an experiment, and this was a new finding. After embarrassing me by calling my parents at 2 am, he decided it was time to get back to business.
It gets blurry again, but I remember my face being over his exposed penis. I was hesitating, so he pushed my head down to “get things going.”
I think I pushed him away. I don’t remember exactly if I had started, but I definitely didn’t want to. I may have gagged a little at the thought of having to. Then, just as I had suspected would happen at the beginning of the night, he started to fight with me.
“What the fuck?”
I tried to explain to him that maybe he was too drunk and that we should just not do anything.
He grew angrier at me.
“But I ate you out, now you have to suck my dick!”
My memory gets blurry here again, but I eventually made it back to my room. I remember thinking, “it took you a while, but you eventually stood up for yourself.”
The next few days were hell for me. He was fighting with me because I hadn’t given him a blow job that night. He told his friend that I just used him for oral, and they agreed that I should have “returned the favor.” He told me that I treated him like shit. I can’t remember the whole conversation, because I had another panic attack, but the gist was, “you better suck my dick when you get back.”
I can’t remember much of what happened until I broke up with him, just that he was trying to buy me a plane ticket to stay with him for a few weeks, because “he was lonely and needed to have sex with me.”
When I came out as asexual to him, he fucking flipped, saying that it was “unnatural,” and “You never had sex so you wouldn’t know.” He also tried to convince me that I’d change my mind when I had sex with him - basically threatening corrective rape.
Breaking up with him was the best decision I ever made. It’s been 4 1/2 years since that all happened. I tried to just move past it, but the trauma is finally manifesting after all this time. I’m afraid of what else I’ll remember, but I’m glad I finally decided to open to about it.
Anyway, I know this was long, and kind of theatric, but it was cathartic for me. I appreciate you reading it even though it was long. To anyone currently in a toxic relationship: leave, no matter how lonely you are. Put yourself first, and love yourself like I should have, because no one deserves to be taken advantage of. ❤️
Edit: just some grammar stuff, also I remember he threatened suicide if I didn’t come back to school and spend time with him. When I got to school, he wasn’t actually depressed or suicidal. He was actually smiling, heading out to the gym because he knew he had gotten his way. I can’t remember for sure, but I’m pretty sure I still had to suck his dick that day.
submitted by Nearby_Dimension9247 to rape [link] [comments]


2020.10.27 05:31 tirednurse969 [Advice] Vetting a Christian Man

Hi ladies,
I am a 30 year old Christian woman, and I’ve started dating the loveliest man. It was definitely a slow burn, friends since the beginning of the year and now more. He has excellent leadership capabilities, both professionally and personally, and he will undoubtedly be a lovely father and husband in the future to his family.
The most important part to me in this vetting process is that we share our faith. We do. He had made it clear that he is a Christian. He had become more comfortable sharing about his faith, his experiences with God, etc.
I am nervous because I struggle to see if we will be equally yoked. I have been going to church online through the pandemic. He only started going to church online a few weeks ago, after I brought up that it was important to me.
It’s been about six dates, and I am enjoying this relationship, but I don’t want to fall head over heels if he might not be into me and my faith. I am so nervous to talk to him about my virginity, waiting for marriage, and other such topics. I know that these are important conversations, but I have had so many breakups because guys weren’t into that, which has left me in fear. My picker was definitely way broken back then, but still, I would like help moving forward in confidence. This is a nerve racking process for me.
What evidence of his faith and character should I continue to look out for? I am thinking of fruits of the spirit, but would love to know from you if there are other things that I should be looking out for to see if this is a reasonable relationship to continue. Thank you for your time and guidance.
submitted by tirednurse969 to RPCWomen [link] [comments]


2020.10.27 04:00 Sad-Vegetable-5183 Is it time to let go of some of my friendships or can they be salvaged?

As some backstory, this is directly tied to my first group of friends from the dorms freshman year. They’re definitely some of my closest friends in college and we had a tradition of going on a camping trip annually for a 3-day weekend.
Things got complicated because I started dating someone else from the group for ~2 years. She ended things with me out of the blue because I wasn’t Christian and started dating someone else 2 months later.
That was a rough period in my life— I basically took advantage of job interviews to travel around the US and get out of the college town. I honestly felt pretty betrayed as I hadn’t moved on yet, but that gave me closure in some warped sense.
That being said, it’s been around a year since then and things are a lot better for me! However, I can’t help but notice that things are just weird now. It’s always a mutually exclusive scenario when hanging out with the freshman group and unfortunately, they don’t know how to say no to her so I often have to sit on the sidelines. Recently, they went on a camping trip and I found out about it via social media. I haven’t been on campus for 2 months but I’m not sure how to let go of this FOMO I feel.
I know that they’re her friends too, but I’ve gone NC with her after what happened and they clearly know everything. I still really like them but sometimes I feel like they just don’t know how to navigate the situation.
Anyways, most of the people I miss hanging out with are going to end up in the same location as me after college and she and the rest I don’t really care for are moving. So, I’ve got ~6 months to go and I’m not sure if I should keep trying to initiate hangouts or not.
Any advice would be dope!
submitted by Sad-Vegetable-5183 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.10.27 01:23 luimd TOP 50 BY NIRVANA (Kurt Cobain)

Thanks to this list I was introduced to a lot of noise rock and beat happening lo fi style of music. Now that I’m older, and I am so glad I got to hear this when I was much younger. As i play these records over and over, especially during Covid-19, I get to understand the connection of his music and his influences a lot more everyday.
I’m sure most of us know this list by now but I’ve added comments by Cobain, if there are any. And some of the comments are mixed in from interviews or things he’s written. I also included an honorable mentions for Cobain even though he didn’t write one, I’m including albums I feel we’re a big part of his sound but weren’t included on his own Top 50.
I want to share what I was doing in my free time to anyone who has the same interest. If anyone else has anything to share that would be great too.
  1. Iggy and the Stooges – Raw Power (1973) “I own all the Stooges albums," he recites. Maybe we’re more like the Stooges type of punk rock, before punk rock was a trendy fashion statement. And, where people would expect to try to act as punk rock as possible. It seemed that when Iggy was playing to his audience, he dove out into the audience and cut himself up because he wanted this audience to act like that. Or, he wanted to create an environment the way that he felt. And at the time, the audience response was just, basically, heckling.
  2. Pixies – Surfer Rosa (1988) A die-cast metal fossil of misplaced craft, with or without the fucking production." "Everyone who has ever commented on "Surfer Rosa" has said, Yeah, the productions amazing. I agree with that, but the songs are so strong that it wouldnt have mattered if youd listened to it through a boom-box. "I was completely nihilistic up until about four or five years ago, when I first heard this. It changed my attitude. It made me finally admit, after being into punk rock for so many years, that I liked other styles of music as well. It made me finally admit that Im a music lover. Their music reminded me of the music that I always wanted to do and was doing before I got into punk rock, eight or nine years ago. When I first started writing songs, they were a mixture of punk rock and The Beatles, but then I abandoned that and did nothing but Black Flag rip-offs. "Right around the time Surfer Rosa came out, Sub Pop was happening and I was starting to write those sort of hard rock, Iggy/Aerosmith songs again. "Its obvious that when Bleach came out ... except for that one song, About A Girl... that I was very set in one frame of mind. I heard songs off Surfer Rosa that I’d written but threw out because I was too afraid to play them for anybody. Im really glad that at least weve got that one song on the album, but I had a few more like that that I couldve put on the album, and I wish I had, because then it wouldve sounded more like Nevermind and it wouldnt have been such a drastic leap." We were driving up to Tacoma every night for practice, trying to write songs. I was trying to write the ultimate pop song. I was basically trying to rip off the Pixies. I have to admit it [smiles]. When I heard the Pixies for the first time, I connected with that band so heavily I should have been in that band — or at least in a Pixies cover band. We used their sense of dynamics, being soft and quiet and then loud and hard. a lot of people can't stand the sound of The Pixies' first record. I don't understand it, I think that's one of the best-sounding records I ever heard. It's just a matter of opinion."
  3. The Breeders – Pod (1990) Its an epic that will never let you forget your ex-girlfriend." "By that I dont necessarily mean that the record reminds me of my last girlfriend. It seems that when the girls in The Breeders get together, they give off this air of... their ex-boyfriends. But the main reason I like them is for their songs, for the way they structure them, which is totally unique, very atmospheric. I wish Kim was allowed to write more songs for The Pixies, because Gigantic is the best Pixies song and Kim wrote it. "I love their attitude. Doe, the song about where a girl gives a boy head and he pats her on the head like a doe, is very funny. Theyre strong women, but its not that obvious. Theyre not militant about it at all. You can sense they love men at the same time."
  4. The Vaselines – Dying for It (1988, listed as Pink EP) "Eugene + Francis = documented love" "I just have this feeling they had a really cool relationship. I dont know if thats true or not, but I just think its a really amazing thing when a couple can get together and write some of the most beautiful songs Ive ever heard. Theyre kind of sharing their life with people. Eugene and Francis are the Captain and Tennille of the underground. "Could I imagine myself and Courtney ever doing something like that? Absolutely. We play together all the time. Musically, were compatible, because we think exactly the same and we feel the same, and its really easy to come up with good music if youre like that. If I could just have a romantic relationship with Chris and Dave, it would be nice. I have no definite plans to release the stuff with Courtney, but its a nice idea. Maybe we’ll do it someday, but we have too many things to do right now. Just playing together in our house is satisfying."
  5. The Shaggs – Philosophy of the World (1969) "Its so obviously the real thing" "They were all sisters, with their evil uncle making plans for them. I heard this one live song a Carpenters song, maybe? ...where they must have been playing a day centre, and the screams in the background are louder than the music. The Shaggs are another archetypal K band. "Am I a Calvinist (named after Calvin Johnson, leader of Beat Happening and founder of K Records in Olympia, where Kurt used to live)? No. The Calvinists are a handful of Olympia residents between the ages of 16 and 50 who wear Leave It to Beaver hats and sweaters, worship Calvin and follow him around. They leave him gifts, and they have Calvin altars, and candles and effigies of Calvin. I dont know much about the rituals of praising Calvin, but I know what punk rock is about." Cobain says he listened to the Shaggs’ Philosophy of the World (Third World) every day for months. The three girls on the front have ’60s hairdos and wear plaid pleated skirts. “The first records are good but then they started taking it seriously and really trying to learn how to play their instruments and it wasn’t as good.”
  6. Fang – Landshark (1982) Nirvana covered The Money Will Roll Right In live.
  7. MDC – Millions of Dead Cops (1981) Kurt Cobain was young, about 17 or so, he got arrested and he had this cassette in his pocket
  8. Scratch Acid – Scratch Acid (1984, listed as 1st EP) "The reason I like Scratch Acid so much was because they had structure to their songs, real simple pop structure that you could follow real easily, and it was almost like an Aerosmith song, but it was really fucked up, bending strings, borderline in-tune-that type of chaos." And that's what I was doing and that's what I wanted to do,"
  9. Saccharine Trust – Paganicons (1981, listed as 1st EP)
  10. Butthole Surfers – Pee Pee the Sailor (1983) includes “The Shah Sleeps In Lee Harvey’s Grave” in his Montage of Heck Cassette
  11. Black Flag – My War (1984) when describing Fecal Matter, Cobain said “it sounded exactly like Black Flag," Kobain says. "Totally abrasive, fast, punk music. There were some Nirvana elements … some slow songs, even then. And there was some heavy, Black Sabbath-influenced stuff. I can't deny Black Sabbath. Or Black Flag."
  12. Bad Brains – Rock for Light (1983) Kurt was 17 and “play the album over and over by day then drink and eat acid by night through the summer (Come As You Are)
  13. Gang of Four – Entertainment! (1979) That's the kind of band we used to be. We used to be more, like, Gang Of Four, New Wave influenced. Like, more experimental, with more noise and different effects boxes and stuff.
  14. Sex Pistols – Never Mind the Bollocks, Here’s the Sex Pistols (1977) A million times more important than The Clash" "How do I explain that? Hmm, Both were the original punk bands, but The Clash were always a bad imitation of The Rolling Stones, in love with America. But at least they took their girlfriends on tour with them (The Slits). Their music was terrible, though. I blame Sandinista for not letting me get into punk, years after I shouldve done it was so bad. "The Pistols album has the best production of any rock record Ive ever heard. Its totally in-your-face and compressed. All the hype The Sex Pistols had was totally deserved ... they deserved everything that they got. Johnny Rotten was the one I identified with, he was the sensitive one. "The only reason I might agree with people calling our band The Sex Pistols of the Nineties is that, for both bands, the music is a very natural thing, very sincere. But in terms of influence, fuck, no! Rock is too exhausted for that. We havent produced a totally original sound like that. We might be uncompromising, but thats about it. Were an obvious metamorphosis. This is still the best-produced record in the world. I want to work with the guys who produced this on our next record. “But if they’ve been progressing with technology, their production might suck now.”
  15. The Frogs – It’s Only Right and Natural (1989)
  16. PJ Harvey – Dry (1992)
  17. Sonic Youth – Daydream Nation (1988)
  18. The Knack – Get the Knack (1979) I love The Knack! The Knack are great! The first Knack record is a classic…
  19. The Saints – Know Your Product (1978)
  20. Kleenex – “anything by:” (1978-1983)
  21. The Raincoats – The Raincoats (1979) I know a lot of coolies who suck and feed off the the fact that they know about and (supposedly) enjoy unknown, obscure bands of present and past. These coolies thrive on their own little discoveries like those tiny fish who attach themselves to bigger fish and parasitically feed off the hosts’ droppings and burnt coffee. A while ago, I found myself in bloody exhaust grease London again with an all-consuming urge to hunt for some rare things: the very-out-of-print first Raincoats LP. In an attempt to satisfy the second part of my quest, I went to the Rough Trade shop and, of course, found no Raincoats record in the bin. I then asked the woman behind the counter about it and she said “well, it happens that I'm neighbors with Anna (member of The Raincoats) and she works at an antique shop just a few miles from here.” So she drew me a map and I started on my way to Anna's. Sometime later, I arrived at this elfin shop filled with something else I've compulsively searched for over the past few years - really old fucked up marionette-like wood carved dolls (quite a few hundred years old). Lots of them... I've fantasized about finding a ship filled with so many. They wouldn't accept my credit card but the dolls were really too expensive anyway. Anna was there, however, so I politely introduced myself with a fever-red face and explained the reason for my intrusion. I can remember her mean boss almost setting me on fire with his glares. She said “well, I may have a few lying around so, if I find one, I'll send it to you (very polite, very English).” I left feeling like a dork, like I had violated her space, like she probably thought my band was tacky. A few weeks later I received a vinyl copy of that wonderfully classic scripture with a personalized dust sleeve covered with xeroxed lyrics, pictures, and all the members' signatures. There was also a touching letter from Anna. The Raincoats were not very well known in the States - I don’t know about the U.K. in fact, I don’t really know anything about The Raincoats except that they recorded some music that has affected me so much that, whenever I hear it I’m reminded of a particular time in my life when I was (shall we say) extremely unhappy, lonely, and bored. If it weren’t for the luxury of putting that scratchy copy of The Raincoats’ first record, I would have had very few moments of peace. I suppose I could have researched a bit of history about the band but I feel it’s more important to delineated the way I feel and how they sound. When I listen to The Raincoats I feel as if I'm a stowaway in an attic, violating and in the dark. Rather than listening to them, I feel like I'm listening in on them. We're together in the same old house and I have to be completely still or they will hear me spying from above and, if I get caught--everything will be ruined because it's their thing. They're playing their music for themselves. It's not as sacred as wire-tapping a Buddhist monk's telephone or something because if The Raincoats really did catch me, they would probably just ask me if I wanted some tea. I would comply, then they would finish playing their songs and I would say thank you very much for making me feel good.
  22. Young Marble Giants – Colossal Youth (1980) "Lying in an iron lung filled with lukewarm water and Epsom salts" "This music relaxes you, its total atmospherics. Its just nice, pleasant music. I love it. The drum machine has to have the cheesiest sound ever. Were going to be on a Young Marble Giants compilation, doing Credit In The Straight World. I had a crush on the singer for a while, didn’t everyone? "I didnt know much about them the Moxham brothers, right? I heard they might be getting back together again recently. (NB: Stuart Moxham just produced one side of the new Beat Happening album, another of Kurts favourite bands). Isnt it weird how, when you hear something like that, you still get excited, even though you know you shouldnt? "I first heard Colossal Youthbon the radio, after I started getting into K music when I lived in Olympia. It was a year before I put out the Bleach album. At the time, I was just painting and doing art stuff. I still do, Young Marble Giants, god. I don't know where I'd be if I hadn't heard that record. I am heavily influenced by them. It doesn't sound like it in our music, but just the emotions they evoked and the feeling, the sincerity and all that. And the song-writing, I think, is fantastic and it’s so original too, you know? No drums, except for the little casio thing… Great, I just love that stuff.
  23. Aerosmith – Rocks (1976) Kurt likes the drum sound
  24. Various Artists – What Is It. (1982) includes The Eyes Don’t Talk To Me in his journals
  25. R.E.M. – Green (1988) I also like R.E.M., "Pop Song '89" is in my opinion the best song written this year, even if I don't like the rest of the album. Maybe it reminds me in some ways of the third Led Zeppelin album
  26. Shonen Knife – Burning Farm (K Records version, 1985) "When l finally got to see them live, I was transformed into a hysteric nine-year-old girl at a Beatles concert" I was crying and jumping up and down and tearing my hair out - it was amazing. I've never been so thrilled in my whole life. They play pop music - pop, pop, pop music. This was the first cassette that came out on K. Eventually, after a week of listening to it everyday, I started crying. Thats how much it affected me. I just couldnt believe that three people from a totally different culture could write songs as good as those, because Id never heard any other Japanese music or artist who ever come up with anything good. "Everything about them is just so fucking endearing. Theyre not too cute! Thats part of the charm. Do I think theres a paedophiliac element to their appeal? I think, in Japanese culture in general, theres a paedophilioc element ... most of the women there dress up as young girls. Its weird. "Im sure that I was twice as nervous to meet them as they were to meet us. I didnt want to offend or scare them in any way, because I know Im a scruffy, slimy person who might scare them off ... and thats exactly what I did. They were afraid of me. In fact, on one of our first dates together, they saw me at the backstage area walking towards them and they screamed at the top of their voices, turned around and ran away from me, and then peeked their heads out of their dressing room. I was trying to reassure them that I was harmless. The communication we had with them was deathly silence and a lot of smiling. "In many ways, theyre the ultimate K band, because they are sincere, they are real. They dont purposely put their guitars out of tune, and they dont purposely sing out-of-tune."
  27. The Slits – Typical Girls (1979)
  28. The Clash – Combat Rock (1982) I think the best Clash album is 'Combat Rock', I f---ing love that record! It's definitely better than 'Sandinista' "I remember I found ‘Sandinista' at the library, and I hated it. I thought, if this is what punk rock is, then I don't want anything to do with it. It's too bad, because I'd wanted to hear punk rock forever.
  29. The Faith/Void – The Faith/Void (1982) I always really admired bands like Faith, Void, and Rites of Spring, not to forget the always amazing Bad Brains
  30. Rites of Spring – Rites of Spring (1985)
  31. Beat Happening – Jamboree (1988) I moved to Olympia, from Aberdeen, it was the first place that I moved to, on my own. I was twenty. I'd just started Nirvana and K Records and that whole scene in Olympia turned me on to so much amazing music. Every couple of years I feel that I've gone as far as I can with being introduced to something new, and then something like that hits me and it gives me life for a few years. It opened up new doors to music i hadn’t heard before. There’s a whole another world of underground music that I wasn’t even aware of. It made me realize that for years I hadn’t looked back on my childhood. I tried to forget about it. It made me look back at my child hood and have fond memories of it. It was just a nice reminder of innocence.
  32. Tales of Terror – Tales of Terror (1984) includes “Chambers of Horror” in his journals
  33. Leadbelly – Leadbelly’s Last Sessions Volume One (1953) Time to get the Leadbelly records out.” Cobain hands me one, a deep blue duotone adorning the time-worn jacket. “I think he’s still most popular among intellectual Jewish communists from the East Coast,” he says jokingly. Orgones, pyles, cells, and he probably knew the difference between male and female hemp" "That all has something to do with Burroughs, because Burroughs turned me onto that guy. He said that if you want to hear true, honest music with passion, then you should hear Leadbelly. The songs are just amazingly heartfelt. I absolutely love it more than any rock'n'roll I ever heard."Leadbelly was this poor black man in the early 1900s who went to jail a few times for wife-beating and robbery and getting into fights and bootlegging liquor. While he was in prison, he started playing the guitar, and he sang so well that the governor started to like him and let him out of jail. Leadbelly became an apprentice with Blind Lemon Jefferson and started recording songs, but none of the commercial recordings he made ever captured his true essence, except for these last sessions. They happened when this guy who’d been following his career for a few years caught him on a two-track tape recorder one night when they were hanging out at this hotel. Its just real cool. "Id hope that my songs approximate that honesty. Thats what I strive for. He was like the first punk rocker, because he was such a hardened person. He’d get into town, walk into an all white bar, try to have a drink, get beat up and then go to jail because of it. So its really cool to hear this music, especially the air of the recordings themselves, because its so eerie to hear it on this crackly two-track. Hell start off with a little introduction on what the song is about, play a little and [dive] in." "But thats what Folkways records are like theyre awesome. Im gonna get a Folkways tattoo next to my Black Flag tattoo. Folkways are affiliated to the Smithsonian Institute; they even have the entire Watergate tapes available as a 10 album set. Our next album covers gonna be like a Folkways album cover no gloss on it at all, just recycled paper and the strip of paper on the back."
  34. Mudhoney – Superfuzz Bigmuff (1988)
  35. Daniel Johnston – Yip/Jump Music (1983) “He’s an insane person, been in and out of mental hospitals… I have a videotape of him playing. He sits down at this organ — you know, the kind Christians had in their homes in the late ’60s, the ones with the colored plastic tempo buttons. He starts crying about mid-way through the first song. It’s just so touching, you feel so sorry for him, but at the same time you’re so intrigued.”
  36. Flipper – Album – Generic Flipper (1982) They’re a San Francisco band from the early 1980s— well, actually, they started in late 1979—very noisy, very influential for my band, one of my favorite bands; they’re very slow and noisy and fucked up. Punk rock attitude..
  37. The Beatles – Meet the Beatles! (1964) Um, I would say the biggest influence I've ever had would be The Beatles, because I listened to The Beatles since I was five years old up until I was in 4th Grade - the same three records ("Introducing... The Beatles" (1964), "Meet The Beatles!" (1964), and "The Beatles Second Album" (1964) )over and over every night! I sang the songs and I wanted to see The Beatles. It was about 1973 when I heard on the radio that they'd been broken up for three years, I was totally devastated!
  38. Half Japanese – We Are They Who Ache with Amorous Love (1990) With my headphones on, Jad and l share our little secret walking through shopping malls and airports" "I like to listen to Jad Fair and Half-Japanese with headphones on walking around shopping malls, in the heart of American culture. I just think that, if people could hear this music right now, theyd melt, they wouldnt know what to do, theyd start bouncing off the walls and hyper-ventilating. So I turn up the music really loud and pretend it was blasting through the speakers on the malls,"
  39. Butthole Surfers – Locust Abortion Technician (1987) “I used to curse the Butthole Surfers for having fifteen-dollar ticket prices. Now I obviously understand it more... I want to do more new wave, avant-garde stuff with a lot of dynamics—stops and breaks and maybe even some samples of very weird noise and things—not samples of instruments. I want to turn into the Butthole Surfers basically
  40. Black Flag – Damaged (1981) I met the Melvins, who made me a few compilation tapes such as Black Flag, Flipper, and MDC. The first punk rock song I heard was "Damage II" by Black Flag. It was too extreme and it alienated the majority of the youth who paid it any attention. No one could understand it. I was completely blown away. I found my calling. There were so many things going on at once, because it expressed the way I felt socially, politically, emotionally. I cut my hair, and started trying to play my own style of punk rock and guitar: fast, with a lot of distortion.'
  41. Fear – The Record (1982) includes “We Gotta Get Out Of This Place” in his journals.
  42. Public Image Ltd – The Flowers of Romance (1981) “This is a great record, it’s just totally uncompromising. It’s a bunch of drum beats, Johnny Rotten yelling over it all, but it works somehow.”
  43. Public Enemy – It Takes a Nation of Millions to Hold Us Back (1988) “I would never attempt rap music. There's no sense in it," Cobain says. "The people that do rap music do it just fine. I'm usually offended by people like Vanilla Ice. The white man has ripped off the black man for long enough. They should just leave the rap music to the African-Americans 'cause they do it so well."
  44. Marine Girls – Beach Party (1982) "Tobi Vail told me that her and Kurt [Cobain] used to lie awake all night listening to Beach Party.” - Tracey Thorn
  45. David Bowie – The Man Who Sold the World (1970)
  46. Wipers – Is This Real? (1980) Yes it is. Greg Sage was pretty much the romantic, quiet, visionary kind of guy. What more can I say about them? They started Seattle grunge rock in Portland, 1977."
  47. Wipers – Youth of America (1981) "The Wipers were a Portland punk band who were started in the late Seventies by Greg Sage and released maybe four or five albums. The first two were totally classic, and influenced the Melvins and all the other Seattle bands. Theyre another band I tried to assimilate. Their songs were so good. They're the most innovative punk rock band that started the 'Seattle sound' like 15 years too early. We learnt everything from 'THE WIPERS'. They were playing a mixture of punk and hard rock at a time when nobody cared."
  48. Wipers – Over the Edge (1983) “I got this in Europe.” — If there is a “Seattle Sound” it came from Portland, Oregon in the early 80’s by a three piece band named The Wipers.
  49. Mazzy Star – She Hangs Brightly (1990) “making a friend like Stephen Pavlovic - our Australian tour promoter who sent me a Mazzy Star LP on vinyl”
  50. Swans – Young God (1984)
Honorable Mentions Meat Puppets II (1984) Smithereens -Especially For You (1986) Black Sabbath - Masters of Reality (1971) Public Image Ltd -(1978)
submitted by luimd to Nirvana [link] [comments]


2020.10.27 00:43 xxxmalakuma I'm confused and I'm scared and idk

So where do I start....Well I am 16, a girl and I am a self voluntary Christian. In my religion it is taught we all have hard ships and temptations that sometimes we have no power over(can also being gay or somewhat gay) but it is our choice to either proceed with them and let this flesh do as it pleases or to proceed with carrying our cross everyday(denying of our own flesh, temptations or our hardships) and follow jesus. I am not catholic or Lutheran or any of the sort, and I am definitely not a nun. 
Now, ever since I can remember even though I havent had to many crushes on boys, I have only been attracted to boys,or atleast I thought until 5th grade.
I was friends with a girl who I esteemed greatly and even at one point thought of her as a bestfriend.(which was alot because well one,I had no friends and even when I talked good to them I never considered anyone a friend.) One day we were by ourselves and she asked me if I'd ever date a girl,if I'd ever kiss a girl or if I'd ever have sex with a girl. She suprised me because idk I was so confused and I curiouse and I smiling (maybe also because she was smiling at me while asking )and I dont know what else, but I was more than anything confused. I obviously asked her why she was asking me this and she said she was curious to know. I said no,nervously and unsure.she said okay with a straight flat face and left.
Afterwards she had multiple times tried to ask me to come over to her house,(her mom worked so she was always by herself in her house) but I didn't come over, I couldn't and I didnt see her the same. I felt ashamed of how I started questioning what I felt for her and how I saw her, I was nervous around her.( I was also happy because she never seemed to be bothered by my religion at all which seemed to be a big problem with other kids,which was also why I didnt have any friends and they would badly bully me)
moved on, mostly because she became a douch and got even more into drugs, alot more than usual to the point she had a seizure of some sort.(She started doing drugs quite young I was offered multiple times when I was by myself with her or when we were with her boyfriend, since he would also do drugs,I always refused) So I didnt see till later on in high school. 
Eventually before I graduated 8th grade I was sitting next to her and one of her guy friends and she started talking about the "good 'ol times" and I wasn't paying attention since by then I found her annoying, until she noticed I wasn't and abruptly said "remember [insert name], when I asked you that?" I turned around and instantly she said "I liked you, I liked you all along, I just wanted to know if you felt the same".
There were other girls I talked to but I knew deep down they didn't feel the same or they didnt see me that way,or made me feel the way the first girl made me feel.
I entered highschool and I've had multiple people say, think, assume or ask if I'm les/bi. In freshman yr I entered a program of all girls and I met a girl who was pansexual and she struggled alot at home with problems, I told my mom about her and actually esteemed her alot too(she also esteemed the first girl I talked about until she started saying she was a bad influence on me and started not really liking her), until one time she gave me a note that said I love you(which she gave the same one to almost everyone in the program) My mom said I should really hang around her again she never told I couldn't hang out with them but she just said that I'd shouldn't be around them too much. She was also into drugs which didnt help,but she was always nice.
She eventually asked me to her house since my dad hadn't arrived yet to pick me up in his car and I thought I trusted her enough to go with her and wait rather than be by myself and sit in the middle of no where. So I went and that when she eventually started confessing that she actually really liked me and started asking me if I've ever had sex with a girl.
That was my first encounter with someone actually wanting to have sex with me and for a moment I thought It was the girl from 5th grade and I was not gonna lie I started fantasizing it was her but then she started getting closer to my face and trying to tug at my clothes (mind you I've never had actually kissed some on the lips before this and I didn't want to do do right then and there, atleast not with her, if it had been the other girl maybe, but I wasn't gonna give up my first kiss, let alone my virginity to this girl I didnt even like,even if I was a bit horny, no way, not with her I had been disgusted of the idea of sex by its self and I definitely wasn't gonna give it to her.
So I bolted out the door, I took my backpack and coat in my hand and left the house. I ran and ran and my heart was thumping and I started crying and I was so confused I was just running to the nearest corner I could find and broke down.I eventually still had to wait for my dad to arrive and he eventually too me home,I never told him or anyone and I never went back.
Later on I made friends and I made especially good friends with 2 girls,one of which I was always with and One time a boy asked her if she would be willing to date girls and I was with her. She said no way she can be bestfriends with a girl but not date one and IDK why but for some reason I felt sad and not deeply sad but at that moment I noticed I got sad and I wonder if I had a little crush on here and felt like a little girl being shut dow. It wasn't a big deal but I felt uneasy at the thought of a little crush on a girl.
I guess I became so anxious and reserved and angry all the time especially because I had been battling anerxoa/bulimia since 7th an was just recuperating, (it was early october in freshman year). Eventually I ended up telling my mom and my closest elder sister that I thought I might also like girls (I didnt tell them anything from what I previously said) Well both atleast stayed more so calm but with a shocked and saddened face. It wasn't a face of disgust but more so sadness (well except from my younger sister who I noticed was eavesdropping and was right away disgusted and went so far as to afterwards make a joke saying to not hug or even walk or get close to her because people were gonna think she lesbian....LIKE C'MONN WE'ER FRIKIN SISTERS.
Anyways both my mom and elder sister said I was probably confusing admiration with liking of loving. We left it at that and since my little sister started making insensitive jokes and my mom was worring (shes sick so I didnt want to complicate her health even more)
I eventually told my mom I was confused after all and that the whole was a phase.
sophmore year came and I met this girl who was so intelligent and witty and brave and just amazing.I would catch my self wanting to hold her hand but being too ashamed and embarrassed. It would even get that to a point where I found out she had a childhood friend that she was very close too and I saw them for the first time together holding hand(idk if they were a couple or not, or even if this girl was into girls but would still get jealous and I would think about her all day) of course it all ended where she started calling me out for my religion and for the way I dressed (In my religion I wear long skirts) and that I should leave.I was sad because I had thought so highly of her and never shamed her for anything I never even mentioned religion for her convenience, but alas. Anyways my mom never liked her because she thought she liked me.
submitted by xxxmalakuma to offmychest [link] [comments]


2020.10.27 00:18 spwf 90 Day Fiancé is a serendipitous study on cultural differences and relationship management

I hate reality TV. Truly, I do. So, when my girlfriend first asked me to watch 90 Day Fiancé with her, I was skeptical. “What, it’s just people fighting in different countries, so what?”, I first thought.
Several seasons in, and I thoroughly enjoy sitting down and watching every episode with her every week, regardless of whether it may be for the same reasons as her or not.
90 Day Fiancé is a series, or a franchise, that chronicles the lives of people meeting, courting, dating, getting engaged to, and marrying people from other countries than the US. They often go through the process of filing what’s called the K1 Visa.
A K-1 visa — also called a fiancé visa — allows the engaged partner of a U.S. citizen to enter the United States, as long as the couple gets married no more than 90 days later. The newly married spouse can then apply for permanent residence (a “green card”) based on marriage.
What I thought was going to be people just fighting with different accents ended up being a lot, lot more.
I’ve learned so much about different cultures, different customs and traditions, and simple relationship management skills
The show gives great first-hand insight on various topics such as the effect of poor communication in relationships, exacerbated by language barriers. Sometimes, there’s just slight misunderstandings of colloquialisms. Other times, there’s just straight up “I can’t hold a conversation with them because I don’t know the language”
There have been many instances, on the show. of couples trying to live together, despite differences in religion in different countries. People are faced with the possibility that the only way to be with their partner is to convert. Is anyone worth changing your faith over? Watching so many people being faced with the cultural differences in their relationships opens up a revealing window about the world we live in
“In America, we...” - Those three words get uttered so often in this show, that it’s almost become the show’s catchphrase. The show is constantly showing Americans being put into cultural events that just do not mesh with what they’re used to. It’s almost fascinating seeing Americans travel to all parts of the world, expecting their cultural mores and beliefs to translate equally in order areas of the globe.
This show doesn’t just tackle dating and marriage, the show also tackles co-parenting in the face of long-distance relationships and in the face of cultural differences. Just in the most recent season, a devout Jewish woman from America has to have an emergency C-Section in Ethiopia while with her orthodox Christian boyfriend. The topics of circumcision and baptism raise a lot of tensions between the two, on top of the woman having to deliver a baby in Ethiopia completely without any of her own family and friends.
Also in this recent season, an openly gay middle-aged man & single father from America completely uproots and leaves his daughters and grandchildren to move to Mexico to be his younger in-the-closet gay man and single father in not-as-open-to-homosexuality Mexico. That’s already a lot to unpack
All in all, if you are truly interested in a borderline educational series on people navigating the world’s different cultures, religions, laws, & customs and navigating complex relationships, I would definitely suggest giving this show a watch. I already learned so much more about myself and what my tolerances really are.
And do your best to ignore the absolutely shitty people that are on the show every now and then.
submitted by spwf to television [link] [comments]


2020.10.26 21:27 xxxmalakuma I'm confused

So where do I start....Well I am 17, a girl and I am a self voluntary Christian. In my religion it is taught we all have hard ships and temptations that sometimes we have no power over(can also being gay or somewhat gay) but it is our choice to either proceed with them and let this flesh do as it pleases or to proceed with carrying our cross everyday(denying of our own flesh, temptations or our hardships) and follow jesus. I am not catholic or Lutheran or any of the sort, and I am definitely not a nun. Now, ever since I can remember even though I havent had to many crushes on boys, I have only been attracted to boys,or atleast I thought until 5th grade. I was friends with a girl who I esteemed greatly and even at one point thought of her as a bestfriend.(which was alot because well one,I had no friends and even when I talked good to them I never considered anyone a friend.) One day we were by ourselves and she asked me if I'd ever date a girl,if I'd ever kiss a girl or if I'd ever have sex with a girl. She suprised me because idk I was so confused and I curiouse and I smiling (maybe also because she was smiling at me while asking )and I dont know what else, but I was more than anything confused. I obviously asked her why she was asking me this and she said she was curious to know. I said no,nervously and unsure.she said okay with a straight flat face and left. Afterwards she had multiple times tried to ask me to come over to her house,(her mom worked so she was always by herself in her house) but I didn't come over, I couldn't and I didnt see her the same. I felt ashamed of how I started questioning what I felt for her and how I saw her, I was nervous around her.( I was also happy because she never seemed to be bothered by my religion at all which seemed to be a big problem with other kids,which was also why I didnt have any friends and they would badly bully me) I moved on, mostly because she became a douch and got even more into drugs, alot more than usual to the point she had a seizure of some sort.(She started doing drugs quite young I was offered multiple times when I was by myself with her or when we were with her boyfriend, since he would also do drugs,I always refused) So I didnt see till later on in high school. Eventually before I graduated 8th grade I was sitting next to her and one of her guy friends and she started talking about the "good 'ol times" and I wasn't paying attention since by then I found her annoying, until she noticed I wasn't and abruptly said "remember [insert name], when I asked you that?" I turned around and instantly she said "I liked you, I liked you all along, I just wanted to know if you felt the same".There were other girls I talked to but I knew deep down they didn't feel the same or they didnt see me that way,or made me feel the way the first girl made me feel. I entered highschool and I've had multiple people say, think, assume or ask if I'm les/bi. In freshman yr I entered a program of all girls and I met a girl who was pansexual and she struggled alot at home with problems, I told my mom about her and actually esteemed her alot too(she also esteemed the first girl I talked about until she started saying she was a bad influence on me and started not really liking her), until one time she gave me a note that said I love you(which she gave the same one to almost everyone in the program) My mom said I should really hang around her again she never told I couldn't hang out with them but she just said that I'd shouldn't be around them too much. She was also into drugs which didnt help,but she was always nice. She eventually asked me to her house since my dad hadn't arrived yet to pick me up in his car and I thought I trusted her enough to go with her and wait rather than be by myself and sit in the middle of no where.So I went and that when she eventually started confessing that she actually really liked me and started asking me if I've ever had sex with a girl. That was my first encounter with someone actually wanting to have sex with me and for a moment I thought It was the girl from 5th grade and I was not gonna lie I started fantasizing it was her but then she started getting closer to my face and trying to tug at my clothes (mind you I've never had actually kissed some on the lips before this and I didn't want to do do right then and there, atleast not with her, if it had been the other girl maybe, but I wasn't gonna give up my first kiss, let alone my virginity to this girl I didnt even like,even if I was a bit horny, no way, not with her I had been disgusted of the idea of sex by its self and I definitely wasn't gonna give it to her. So I bolted out the door, I took my backpack and coat in my hand and left the house. I ran and ran and my heart was thumping and I started crying and I was so confused I was just running to the nearest corner I could find and broke down.I eventually still had to wait for my dad to arrive and he eventually too me home,I never told him or anyone and I never went back. Later on I made friends and I made especially good friends with 2 girls,one of which I was always with and One time a boy asked her if she would be willing to date girls and I was with her.She said no way she can be bestfriends with a girl but not date one and IDK why but for some reason I felt sad and not deeply sad but at that moment I noticed I got sad and I wonder if I had a little crush on here and felt like a little girl being shut dow. It wasn't a big deal but I felt uneasy at the thought of a little crush on a girl. I guess I became so anxious and reserved and angry all the time especially because I had been battling anerxoa/bulimia since 7th an was just recuperating, (it was early october in freshman year). Eventually I ended up telling my mom and my closest elder sister that I thought I might also like girls (I didnt tell them anything from what I previously said) Well both atleast stayed more so calm but with a shocked and saddened face. It wasn't a face of disgust but more so sadness (well except from my younger sister who I noticed was eavesdropping and was right away disgusted and went so far as to afterwards make a joke saying to not hug or even walk or get close to her because people were gonna think she lesbian....LIKE C'MONN WE'ER FRIKIN SISTERS. Anyways both my mom and elder sister said I was probably confusing admiration with liking of loving. We left it at that and since my little sister started making insensitive jokes and my mom was worring (shes sick so I didnt want to complicate her health even more) I eventually told my mom I was confused after all and that the whole was a phase.sophmore year came and I met this girl who was so intelligent and witty and brave and just amazing.I would catch my self wanting to hold her hand but being too ashamed and embarrassed. It would even get that to a point where I found out she had a childhood friend that she was very close too and I saw them for the first time together holding hand(idk if they were a couple or not, or even if this girl was into girls but would still get jealous and I would think about her all day) of course it all ended where she started calling me out for my religion and for the way I dressed (In my religion I wear long skirts) and that I should leave.I was sad because I had thought so highly of her and never shamed her for anything I never even mentioned religion for her convenience, but alas. Anyways my mom never liked her because she thought she liked me. I mean I've had my first crush on a boy when I was in 4th grade and my 2nd in 7th grade and after that I'd say I find a few boys cute but I've havent had any actual official crushes on on a boy since 7th.Id also say most if not all my celebrity crushes are males,Keanu reeves,mads mikkelsen, johnny depp,lee pace,Orlando bloom,Viggo Mortteson,river Phoenix. So I am utterly most definitely confused,and I'm now a senior in highschool. But I havent even had my first kiss yet, I'm still a virgin and In my religion we should save our selves till marriage. So idk what do you guys think? Im so confused, I'm straight but I...I....I dont know....
submitted by xxxmalakuma to lgbt [link] [comments]


2020.10.26 20:43 RhubyTuesday I need some real talk about my marriage...

This is going to be long & I really apologize, but I'm in a very dark place & need to get this out.
I had a pretty shitty childhood, but not as bad as some. My mom got knocked up the first time she ever had sex at age 16, wanted to have an abortion, but my grandparents forbid her. My mom & dad got married when she was pregnant, but he left when I was a year old. I've maybe seen him a dozen times in my life, we don't really communicate. My mom was emotionally unavailable as a parent & sometimes verbally & physically abusive. She went on to have 3 more daughters with 3 different men, most weren't the greatest guys, one was an addict & abusive. We moved around a lot, I didn't have a stable home life & even now my family relationships aren't solid.
At 16 I met my husband in high school. First real boyfriend. We dated for 4 years until getting married in the year 2000 when I was 20, he was 21. He wanted to wait until marriage to have sex (he's a Christian), although he had one partner before me. Immediately after getting married we moved 4 hours away from our families & friends. He knew a few people, because he'd attended college there, but I knew nobody. I felt really isolated & struggled with depression. Then I found out he had a porn addiction he'd had since high school. I cannot blame my low self-esteem, weight gain & lack of sex drive solely on this discovery, but I know it was a big contributing factor. So although we had a lot of good times, my 20's were mostly spent with me being depressed, binge eating & him getting upset that I didn't have sex with him enough. By our late 20's he'd started to work on his addiction with some online courses & our sex life got better. He said that because our sex life improved, he wasn't watching porn as much.
At 28 we had our first child. When our son was a year old we decided to move back home to be closer to family. About a month after being back I was using our shared computer & he asked me to check his e-mail to see if he had gotten a reply about a job he'd applied for. I saw an e-mail from a female co-worker he'd been friendly with & gone out drinking (as a group) with a few times. I opened it & she was replying to an e-mail he'd sent her professing feelings for her. Her reply was awkward & was basically, "you have a wife & a kid!". I called him on it & he basically just said that his feelings of leaving the city we'd lived in for 9 years & all of our friends were projected onto her & he didn't really feel that way about her. I wanted to leave him, but I was a SAHM & found out about 2 weeks later that I was pregnant with our second son. I asked for couples counselling but he said we didn't need it & I didn't push it & we kind of just kept chugging along.
He got his dream job as a salaried Youth Pastor, & my entire second pregnancy he didn't treat me that well. I was taking care of a toddler & having a difficult pregnancy & he was always in a bad mood & didn't want to help out. We were living in apartments but around this time we were able to buy our first house.
We entered a fairly stable period. A house, two kids, he had a good job & I was a SAHM. Then one night he went out for a jog around 7 or 8pm & didn't come home until 2am. He'd been on his way back from his jog & the 24 year old woman down the street & her friend invited him in for a drink & he ended up getting drunk, throwing up in her sink & stumbling home. Around this same time I started trying to have important conversations with him & if I'd get emotional, usually due to his stonewalling, he'd call me crazy. This was really painful since I'd struggled with depression in the past. I would tell him how much it bothered me but he just couldn't seem to stop himself. Around 2013 he lost his job as a youth pastor, his bosses accused him of time theft. He started working at a cafe, but was perfectly happy working 25 hours a week & we were barely making ends meet.
After that, I noticed an increase in angry outbursts. Over the past 6-7 years he's put holes in 3 doors, broken the glass stovetop by banging down a cast iron pan, stabbed a knife in the countertop 2-3 times & once he took a hammer to the basement hallway when he was mad. However, he has never ever put his hands on me or the kids, or called me anything other than crazy & maybe one time lazy & a bitch. I asked for couples counselling again, again he said he didn't think we needed it.
In 2015 I started feeling like I really needed to do something for me, so I started my own business with my graphic design skills. It grew really quickly & within a year was a full time job making a really decent income. It's success really built up my confidence & in 2017 I lost 120lbs, going from 290 to 170. I also reconnected with an old friend & made a couple of new friends & for the first time in my life I had a good & supportive friend group. I made enough money to pay for us to go on trips to a few places, including North Carolina to a comic convention he really loved. He didn't contribute any money to these trips & continued to work 25 hours a week.
2 years ago I suggested he try to find some sort of career for himself & hopefully help to bring some additional income into the home. He got a student loan for tuition for the 1 year course & I solely provided for our household while he went to school full-time. I was really proud of him, but once he graduated he decided he only wanted to work 25 hours a week in his new career, spending his spare time drawing & working on his comic art. He is an amazing artist, but he wouldn't help around the house much at all. I couldn't remember a time he'd cleaned the bathroom, mopped the floors, made beds etc. It was rare if at all. He would cook breakfast, but I was responsible for other meals, packing lunches, paying bills etc. on top of running a business. Not to mention he's not very handy & there were so many things around the house that were falling apart & he'd refuse to hire anyone to fix them. Our two boys bedroom windows were rotting & full of mold & I had been asking for a few years for them to be replaced & he didn't do it. Our deck was falling apart. Roof needed to be replaced, electric fireplace needed to be fixed. I'd come home from work with him having sat in his chair on his ipad drawing instead of cleaning, repairing etc. Not to mention he'd undermine my parenting, wouldn't back me up & made me the annoying, naggy mom while he was the fun dad.
Another big aspect I haven't mentioned yet is that I didn't have my licence. He didn't prevent me from getting it, but he wasn't keen to teach me & the couple of times he took me out driving, he made me feel on edge & it just never went anywhere. At the time I had no friends & no real family to teach me, so I gave up trying. Not having a licence has impeded my life in so many ways & I'm not sure it was on purpose but it definitely was a type of control over me.
Beginning of this year I just really felt like I'd had it. I had asked 6 months prior for him to take over the household bills & just try to step it up, because I felt like I was drowning & might have a heart attack for something. I was starting to have some health problems that I felt stress was playing a part in. He didn't do anything that I'd asked. I know I'm not the easiest to live with...I get anxious when there is too much clutter, I'm a sensitive & emotional person who needs a lot of support, but I've never cheated or thought about cheating, ever called him a single name or tried to make him feel small. In March I started talking about leaving & in mid-march we had a discussion & he said maybe I should move out & we should separate until we figured things out. I moved out into my own apartment. I asked him to make a call for couples therapy if he wanted to save our marriage but by 3 months into the separation, he still hadn't so I told him it was over. He said that me being "dissatisfied " & leaving was due to feminism.
I've been out for 7.5 months & some days are so hard. I miss him so much at times that I think I will die. The pain & grief is almost unbearable some days. We were together for 24 years & were best friends in so many ways. I find myself wondering if I made the right choice, because some days all I remember is the good times. The feeling of being held by someone. 24 years of laughs & hugs & kitchen dancing & walks. At 41 years old, how will I find someone again who will love me any differently or any better? I feel so completely & utterly alone. I'm in therapy & my therapist said that he abandoned me. By not going to therapy & trying to save our marriage, he abandoned me like my father & mother & it's so incredibly painful to think that & process that.
There are moments where I have second thoughts. Where I think there is no other love out there for me & maybe I should just go back. Maybe things will be different. I just need some honest advice. I read about abusive relationships...physical, mental...& I think I didn't have it so bad. He loved me & I think he does have a good heart. I spend so much of my days crying & I don't know when or if it's going to get better & I just need some honest real talk because I feel like I'm dying of a broken heart.
submitted by RhubyTuesday to AskWomenOver30 [link] [comments]